Pray for the Peace of Jerusalem

The week before Israel was attacked my family went to see the movie Route 60 which is about the Biblical Highway from Bethlehem to Beersheba. While watching the movie God gave me a visual of a painting that I should paint. I literally started crying as I saw the image in my mind. We never really understand why God speaks to us and most of the time it can't be explained. 

God reminded me of my desire to paint the Western Wall also known as the Wailing Wall because people go there to pray to God. It is believed to be the holiest place to pray because of location, but also because it is believed the holy presence of God never leaves this place.

I have prayed there on four different occasions. I remember being humbled by people walking backwards when they were done praying so they did not turn their back to the wall out of respect to God. The prayers stuffed in the wall intrigued me. I saw people from many nations honoring the place and space as holy. I knew a wonder and awe that never left me. Mostly because God was teaching me so much about His love for the nations through these trips. 

I started my sketch that weekend based off this photo. I wanted to paint a picture that reminded us to pray for the Peace of Jerusalem. How little did I know that war would break out soon in Israel.

I have prayed and worshipped as I painted this painting. I have prayed for the peace of Jerusalem and the protection of the innocent on both sides of the wall. God is for the peace of anyone who is for Him. God hates evil and desires all to know Him. I have cried as I painted this and I have rejoiced in the LORD. 

The little bird is to remind us of peace. This year God has used birds to minister to my soul in a deep way. I pray the bird causes us to want to abide under the Vine. It is in Jesus that we know the Prince of Peace. This is our shelter and where fruit is born. I wanted all the leaves over the bird to symbolize that those who abide in Him know good fruit. Those that don't are like the barren side of the painting.

I hope to paint more scenes as God allows. I am so thankful for the gift of creative worship and prayer.

The little red plane grounds me

As Papa got into bed he said, "You know every night, I leave and go places. Sometimes I get in the car to go to work. I went shopping the other day. But everytime, I open my eyes and I see the plane, I know I am home."

I bought this plane for Papa for Christmas last year and hung it above his bed so he had something fun to look at. I had no idea that the little red baron plane would be his grounding.

Papa often tells me about how the plane helped him. Sometimes his journeys are not fun and the plane helps him to know he is home safe. 

I have been thinking alot about grounding. What in my life grounds me? 

Greg, Mikayla, Grant, Mom, and a few dear friends ground me. When I feel discombobulated, I can process with them and suddenly I am centered again. They help me see things from a different perspective, calm me, and remind me to laugh or cry when necessary. I feel at home and safe in being real with them. 

Creation grounds me. Just being able to sit outside, walk, and enjoy the trees, birds, and beauty of creation fills me up. It centers me. I find I feel more grounded when I spend more time in or with creation. It gives me joy and opens my heart to awe and wonder. This includes Peach and Melchizedek as they minister to me through their kindness and silly antics.

Creating things grounds me. I believe part of it is because it is something I can control. Part of it is because it ignites joy in me. Truly wonder and awe of beauty and giving come alive in me when I am creating. When life is really stressed I am always better if I pause and take time to create. It slows me down and stops the crazy cycle that can run amuck in my head. It also inspires generosity in me. It must be shared to be fully known.

My morning ritual grounds me. I get up, make my chai, get my Bible and my journal and then I sit in my comfy chair to watch the birds and squirrels while I read my Bible and pray. My time with God in the Word grounds me spiritually and emotionally. I can tell when my time is shortened. I am not as grounded if I don't keep my eyes on the LORD. He is my red plane that helps me know I am safe and home. He is the reason I can process with my family and see beauty in creation. He is what makes me centered and stable. He opens me up to repentance, forgiveness, love, hope, healing, kindness, generosity and so much more that is beyond me apart from Him.

What is your red plane that grounds you? What helps you remember who you are and that you are safe? 

If you don't know the answer, maybe you should seek God and ask Him to help you find what will help you become grounded. I promise He will give you what you need at the moment you need it.

Shalom, y'all.

Was Naaman Only Healed of Leprosy?

Some of the best stories have role reversals. 2 Kings 5 is always labeled: Naaman Healed of Leprosy. I get it that this story has a crazy miracle in it. But, I feel there is a deeper lesson.

1. Naaman is the servant of the king that worships false gods and is out to destroy the people of God. He is a commander in a big position. Well respected, but has leprosy (a skin disease).

2. Gehazi is the servant of the messenger of God, Elisha. Elisha serves the One True God, the Almighty. 

3. The king if Syria sent his commander to the king of Israel to be healed because they received word through a captive servant girl from Israel that the prophet of God from her home could heal Namaan. He sends an over the top generous offering so his commander can be healed.

4. The king of Israel freaks out. He thinks it's a trap. He should seek God. He is God's king after all. But nope. He just flips forgetting who he serves.

5. Naaman is healed. You will have to read about his own lesson on doing that which is simple even if it doesn't make sense. Oh, and he listened again to his servants when they gave advice. We see a pattern of humility and teachability in this.

6. Elisha doesn't show himself for the healing. His presence woukd cause Naaman to possibly worship him. But by not showing up and just letting Naaman walk by faith. It reveals that the God of Israel is the Most High God who can do the miraculous in dirty water.

7. Gehazi is upset that Elisha healed Naaman and took nothing. So he plots to deceive and fulfill his greed.

8. Naaman gives generously and Gehazi goes home to hide it.

9. Elisha confronts Gehazi because God revealed to him what he did. He gave Gehazi a chance to tell the truth. Gehazi lied again. In the great role reversals, the servant of the Most High God's prophet walks away with leprosy and the servant of the enemy king walks away healed worshipping the One True God. 

10. But the lesson that blessed me the most. Elisha told Naaman that when he had to bow while serving alongside the king to the false god to be at peace. Naaman was afraid of offending the Most High God. Ponder that for a moment. It isn't about your position. It is all about your heart.

Why? Because the Most High God knows the heart of men. Culture may make you go on bended knee and think it a sign of worship. But the Most High God knows when a heart is bent toward Him or a false god made of stone or even the false god of greed in wanting possessions. 

Go read the story. It is crazy amazing. So many powerful lessons.

Which one speaks most to you today?

TRANSCENDENT PEACE

My mind is often in way too many places at one time. This moment for me was a holy moment. I am in church blessed by the colors around me, holding hot citrus, honey, ginger tea I made. I'm sipping it as it's warmth fills my body on a cold day. I really am  listening as Elvin O. Torres  preaches on peace. Yet, I am thinking of Naomi Bates Frizzell. She gave me my mug because it says, "Be you". I am always saying, "Thank you for being you. When she saw it, it made her think of me. I smiled inside as the memory filled my heart. I am following along reading the verses as Elvin reads them and taking notes on his four points of peace.

Then I heard Elvin say, "His peace which surpasses all understanding. It is transcendent."

Oooh I liked that! 

TRANSCENDENT PEACE

TRANSCENDENT PEACE! 

Go ahead and just say it aloud, 

TRANSCENDENT PEACE

Now that is a prayer worth praying.

Life crazy? Father, help me to rest in your TRANSCENDENT PEACE and get off the crazy cycle.  

Lots of pain got ya down? Father, You give me TRANSCENDENT PEACE. I will look up to You.

Illness plaguing you? Father, Your  TRANSCENDENT PEACE will help me move through this. Cover me and move through me with Your TRANSCENDENT PEACE.

I have always prayed for the peace that surpasses all understanding, but to say transcendent makes me feel like I am tapping into the beauty of the mystery of God's peace. I know that neither word makes a difference. It is all about who He is and what He gives us even when we may not deserve it. 

But in His goodness God chooses to give us TRANSCENDENT PEACE.

Peace that doesn't make sense. 

Peace that makes us strong. 

Peace that helps us hold our heads high and walk through. 

Peace that gives hope.

Peace that is present. 

Peace that shuts the enemy up because it is evident God is with us. 

So I marked the moment God blessed me with the prayer of TRANSCENDENT PEACE!

Will you pause and pray for His TRANSCENDENT PEACE to be evident in you today? I know I am!

Shalom y'all.

Confessions of Anger

Have you ever had one of those moments when as soon as it was rolling out of you, you knew you had walked out of love? Now, I am not talking about being loving. I am talking about the kind of moment when you know you are losing a grip on what you know to be good, holy, right, true, and quite simply kind! Suddenly, without warning you find yourself knee deep in offense and whether you say anything or not your heart is no longer walking in love. And if you do say something you realize that if there was a video of you as a human it would depict a not so loving human. I had one of those ugly moments recently. I just snapped. Call it hormones, menopause, frustration, impatience or whatever you want, but it came out of me like a coke bottle that was about to explode. Just typing this embarrasses me. UGH! But, I would be a liar if I didn’t say I acted like this on occasion. I am so glad it doesn’t happen very often, but it happens. It is real in me. I am human. UGH! No, double ugh! I hate evil and I hate it most when it is in me. I found myself leaking tears for several days as I tried to process what in the mess was going on inside me. 

I have been praying for the LORD to give me much fruit in this season of my life. I do not want to waste time and I long to be fruitful. This moment of ugh did not match my prayer life. But, as I prayed and pondered my momentary madness, I realized I had stuffed A LOT! A LOT! And I needed to let some things go. Have you ever done that? I realized that in the attempt to act godly and not be offensive myself, I had allowed some occasions to be pushed down instead of grieving the pain that was caused me. I would tell myself, “Oh, I must forgive!” “Let it go!” “Move on and forget it!” But, the reality is my heart had been wounded and no attempt to reconcile had been made on my part or if it had it was handled in a cavalier, dismissal, or unkind way. It actually took someone being kind in the middle of a confusing moment for me to realize how much my heart had been wounded. 

How do I as a loving woman of God release it? How do I find healing when one of those that caused the pain died last year and one refuses to even dialogue and honestly if this person did the patterns have revealed that it best that we not engage. I know that I cannot change anyone. But, I have learned that the good LORD can change me. I soon realized that part of my prayer for bearing much fruit just happens to be that He wants to prune some pain in my heart. 

So, what is a girl to do? I knew I needed a day with GOD alone. I wanted to take the time to just list it all out and then just burn it. 

I love how GOD pours truth into us or even at us when we are in need of it. Our staff at ASM are working through the book, “Celebrations of Discipline” by Richard Foster as a team building activity for our staff meetings. I chose months ago to do submission and confession because I knew they were the ones I would like to grow in. LOL! Well, I discovered as I studied submission that if I am truly submitting then I am helping myself and those around me to be surrendered to the will of God. Well, guess what! In confession, Foster challenges the reader to take the time to write it all out on paper and take it to someone and confess it. I love it when God affirms something through another that you have planned to do. Foster reminds the reader that the gift of confession releases a dear friend because we become a reminder of God’s forgiveness. 

“If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained” (John 20:23). 

My girlfriend, Sabrina, used to call this being Jesus with skin on. There truly is something amazing that happens when we confess something and get it off our chest. Suddenly, we are not alone in our darkness. And when you add in someone that is holy and a good listener that wraps you in the cords of compassion and reminds you of the Father’s forgiveness, well, it is quite beautiful! 

I told Greg, “I am going to list out all the things that are stuffed inside me as anger and then burn it.” 

I am blessed because Greg listens even when he was the very one I dumped on! He did two things for me that were so good. Neither of us can handle us being in a fight for long. We will make up because we are a mess otherwise. After we both sat and stewed for quite a bit I said, “I am so sorry I just let you have it.” I will be honest I was sitting there thinking, “I don’t want to apologize! I still want to be mad because I am mad!” But, I also know that will not bring healing and movement so out of obedience to what I know is right and good I said it.

Then Greg said, “I forgive you!” There it was so simple. He forgave me. I felt it, too, the minute he said it. I confess I sat there for a moment and thought I don’t want to say, “I forgive you!” But, I made myself do it! “I forgive you!” He nodded and we still sat in silence. Sometimes, you just gotta sit in your mess and wait for the emotions to catch up with your obedience. And it did. 

I hate being ugly! I hate unkindness! I hate evil! And I will say this a thousand times over, I hate them most in me! So, I set a date on the calendar and I set the day aside to be holy. It was to be my day to sit and process it all with God. I had to release it more to Him than to a human. I needed a holy work done in me and I most definitely was not the person to make that happen. I just needed to fall flat on my face before GOD and just unleash. I had A LOT OF ANGER in me! You need to know it was not at one person, one event, or one thing. It was A LOT of people, places, and circumstances. I put on quiet jazz got out my spiral notebook. I did not want this in my beautiful journal. This was ugly and it was going to be BURNED! 

Did you know that in Hebrew the first person that the word repent was used to first describe as an action was GOD? Go look it up (Genesis 6:6). 

I once learned that the repent in this verse means leave the house, burn it up, and to never return. That is a little terrifying when you consider it was God who first repented! God regretted creating humans when He saw their wickedness. If that does not do something to your heart, then we need to have a serious conversation! I looked up on Youtube the Hebrew word for “repent” and a video came up titled “Five words you should pray in Hebrew.” So, I paused to watch the video. Here are the five words the video provided: 

Hallelujah means “Praise the LORD!” It honors His beauty, power, faithfulness. 

Teshuvah means “repent and return to God.” It surrenders to His forgiveness.  

Tsedek means upright behavior and wise actions. It reveals His righteousness.

Chesed means “loving kindness or mercy.” It reveals His beauty, grace, kindness, and generosity. 

 

Shalom means “peace.” It is meant to be a prayer and blessing. In our heart, life, and world. 

I immediately knew this was of God and that I must use these five words as the prayer pattern for my prayer time. So, I began to praise God for His beauty, power, and faithfulness. I kept this portion short. I wanted to honor Him, but for today I knew my longer portion was going to be in the Teshuvah. I began to write. I can write pretty tiny, and I kept writing and kept writing. I knew many of the things I was putting down I had already walked the path of repentance and forgiveness, but in case there was any lingering anger I wanted to give it over to God. I wrote until I could not write any more. Immediately, I felt my heart feel the tension unleash. I then began to write over and over all of it the five words. 

Then it was on my heart to write “You are forgiven. You are free!” This was a reminder that it is just as true for each person as it is for me. 

Then I wrote Jesus over and over. Honestly, there is nothing spiritual about what I was doing in writing the repetitive words. It was more for me to rewrite on my heart the truths that each one embodies, and it felt good to me. It isn’t something that should be considered a model, but more as a confession of what God walked me through on this precious journey of confessing anger. 

When I was all done, I sat and looked at my scribbled mess, and I wanted to create! I wanted to be able to paint a masterpiece for each of those five words. They are mine now. They are deeply embedded in my heart, mind, soul, and spirit as part of my prayer journey with the LORD. I feel as if they are His grand gift to me because I sought Him. He allowed me to find Him in words that brought me healing, power, and yes authority to release and unleash my pain and move more towards joy. I love that He immediately gave me visions for creativity. How like God to provide a creative vision after a time of holy confession. 

When Greg came home for lunch on the morning that I wrote my confessions of anger, I showed him my scribbled mess. He looked at me and said, “Why do you still have it? Go burn it! Do you feel better?” 

I have a good friend in my Greg. I am blessed. I told him I wanted him to see it and honestly, as I look at it, it is beautiful to me! If I did not confess it then I could not find release from it. It represented the gift of God’s beauty, power, forgiveness, grace, mercy, generosity, faithfulness, and peace to me. 

Have you ever been so burdened? It sure hurts. I am so sorry if you have your own pain, anger, or even sorrow that you bear. I wrote about my journey hoping that you might go to God in prayer and confess it and release it to Him. I pray you find joy and the gift of creative vision so that you may go and bear much fruit. I know I am much better for having done it and I know you will be, too! Shalom y’all! Tara 3/23/21😉

PS. I chose not to burn it. I have it tucked away in one of my Bibles. It became a visual reminder to me of the gift God gave me in this moment of exposure.

Run swiftly toward holiness and pursue peace

"In every relationship be swift to choose peace over competition, and run swiftly toward holiness..."  (The Passion 12:14). 

Choose peace over competition and run swiftly toward holiness. Yes and amen! I love this. I want this! Read it this morning and prayed over me and you! See, if I do not choose peace then I set up opportunity for bitter roots. Those are ugly beasts to break. I read once that one leader cannot stop a mob because the root is embedded too deep. They are too far gone. You stop bitter roots by slaying the beast within in the moment it shows up. A leader gives what a leader has within. We cannot give peace if we do not choose to run to it personally in the quiet of our own homes in those early morning hours when it is only you running amuck in your head. What do you do with those thoughts? Well, stewing and brewing will not promote peace, but running swiftly toward holiness will promote peace. Father, help us all to run swiftly to You and allow Your peace which surpasses all understanding guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Amen

The Death of Worry

"Death was walking toward a man who stopped him and asked, "What are you going to do?" Death said, "I'm going to kill ten thousand people." The man said, "That's horrible!" Death said, "That's the way it is; that is what I do!" As the day passed, the man warned everyone he could of Death's plan. At the end of the day, he met Death again. He said, "You said, "You were going to kill ten thousand people, and yet one hundred thousand people died." Death explained, "I only killed ten thousand. Worry and fear killed the others." (Source unknown, but found in Holman New Testament Commentary). 

Worry seems to be in a lot of my conversations and if I am honest my mind spends way too much time worrying, too. Been thinking on this alot because Grant has quoted at least three times, well maybe more, a line from Fantastic Creatures. "Don't worry because this means you live it twice." Everytime, he says it I think some die a thousand times over. I know! It is easier said than done. I know this is why we are commanded to be transformed by the renewing of our mind. Mind renewal isn't just taking a positive thinking stance. It is the willful obedience to release the circumstances to the LORD and trust Him with the outcome. Sometimes, this must done a thousand times over before we just realize, "Hey, I did not think on that today!" Where are you reliving something two, three times or more?  Beloved, release it to the LORD JESUS and enjoy the peace which surpasses all understanding to guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus. No point in giving Death more than he is accountable for!