The Holy Spirit Helps

Well over fifteen years ago I attended a prayer conference where Dutch Sheets talked about intercessory prayer. He said something so transformational for me that I memorized it on the spot and never forgot it. I have shared it endless times in many places. 

He said that the word “helps” in Romans 8:26 is “Sunantilambanomai”. WOW! I was blown away by this seventeen-letter word. So much so that I never forgot it and even remembered how to spell it.

When the Holy Spirit helps us, it means that “together with us, with whatever is against us, the Holy Spirit will come alongside us and assist us.” Now that is worth repeating! Our four-letter word "help" does not give the full meaning justice.

Last night as I taught a class for Crown University this word, God blessed me again with a reminder of the power of intercessory prayer. We are so uniquely blessed to have the Holy Spirit praying for us. There is no other religion that has such a beautiful and powerful present God at work on their behalf.

As an intercessor, we do this for others as well. We join them. Together with them, whatever is against them, we come alongside them, and we assist them. If you pray for me then you do this for me and when I pray for you, I do the same. It is humbling and lifting all at the same moment.

Thank you for blessing me with your “help” and thank you for joining the Holy Spirit as He prays. I love to quietly “help” those I am just sitting amidst. They have no idea that someone is sitting among them coming alongside them with whatever is against them and assisting them in prayer. This just delights me! Especially in light of prayer being attacked. No one can stop what GOD is doing in us and through us as we pray. 

EM Bounds says that our presence joins heaven and earth through the suffering of Jesus to bring about God’s will. Our prayers make heaven and earth collide to bring about eternal solutions. What a gift we have in Jesus!

Shalom y'all!

How to pray

I was recently asked how I pray. Here are two videos that share what has been the most transformational in my spiritual walk. These videos provide my persinal prayer walk journey. 

How to pray Scripture from Genesis to Revelation

How to pray a specific verse from a section of Scripture

How to pray when life is hard

Sometimes life can hit us with many blows. As I sent this prayer to one of my beloved this morning I realized I should post so others can take hold and pray it, too.

My beloved friend, when Greg and I were in the worst season of our lives, I realized I had forgotten how to praise God. So, I began a journey of studying the prayers in the Bible. I called it Redeemed to Praise. As I studied the prayers, I realized that lifting came when praise was lifted up, so I decided to fast for 40 days of asking God for anything. Instead, I simply praised Him for what I know about Him. This became my soul talk and prayer walk. 

Watch and pray...

Father, You are the Great I AM. You are the Great Physician. You are my present Help in my time of need. You are my hope, my shield, and my deliverer. You give sustenance and endurance. In You am resilient. 

You are my immeasurably more and way maker for You make all things possible because You are my provider.

This is what I know!

In these I give thanks. In these I give You praise!

I am so glad I am Your child and that when I seek You, I will find You. Thank you for the truth that when I knock You answer. 

I am Yours, and You are mine. You are the Prince of Peace, and because of Jesus, I have the Prince of Peace in me. 

Your Holy Spirit resides in me. I love that He alone guides me in all truth. He is my helper who comes alongside me, assists me, and helps me. Thank you! You know my needs, my wants, my desires, my hopes, and my dreams. You see my pain, my suffering, and my agony. 

You understand what is happening in my life, and You promise that if I seek to fulfill Your purposes You will use it for good. You also promise that if I commit something to You, You will grant me success. 

I recognize this as true. Your success, not man's is the safest place to be. Truly, I would rather stand one day in Your courts than a thousand elsewhere. 

In this I give You my praise and thanksgiving. Here, I am LORD, I am Yours. I trust You because Your peace surpasses all understanding and in you it is mine to take hold. 

Thank You for all of these truths. I rest in them.

 In Jesus' name, amen

This season became my daily habit. I would much rather praise God than ask God because when I praise Him for what I know about Him I am choosing to believe Him and trust Him. 

This season radically changed me and I believe it did others because the LORD inhabits the praises of His people.

A Prayer from Psalm 23

Today, I thought maybe I should just sit on today's dates, Psalm. I was pleasantly surprised when I realized it was Psalm 23. A prayer poured out as I read it, and now I share it in hopes that your soul may be refrefreshed in praise and thankfulness, too.

Dear Shepherd, 

Thank you for the beautiful places You have taken me.

Thank you for the still waters or calm you provide for me.

Thank You for how You restore my soul.

Thank you for leading me on paths of righteousness. 

Thank You for Your glorious Name. I love it! I love You.

Thank You that You walk with me and guide me.

Thank You for Your comfort that overflows and pours out.

Thank You that You set the table and the invitations for who I should dine with and love on.

Thank You that You anoint our head with refreshing, life-giving oil, and You let it pour out.

Thank You for goodness and mercy and their continuous work in me everywhere I go.

Thank You that I get to abide with You and dwell in Your home all the days of my life and beyond. 

Hallelujah and Amen! 

(Which means praise the LORD, and so be it!) 2/23/23

2023 Plan & Prayer Strategy

My Word for the year... GLORY! 

My prayer for the year...

LORD, show me Your GLORY so I can give it away so others may know You and Your love through Jesus.

My verse for the year...

"Then we your people, the sheep of your pasture, will thank you forever and ever, praising your greatness from generation to generation" (Psalm 79:13)

My strategy for the year...

1. Reveal, remind, reinforce, and repeat HIS WORD through encouragement, prayer, and teaching.

2. Redirect, remind, reinforce, and repeat God's plan to reveal Jesus through His Word so that transformation takes place.

Be in the WORD! Be with Jesus! Be transformed! 

Shalom y'all!

LORD, teach us to pray!

One time I had a friend share with me that she was diagnosed with cancer and on another occasion a friend shared a very trying time in her marriage. I found myself struggling how to pray so I asked God to teach me how to pray.

I love that the disciples had the same feeling as they watched John and Jesus pray. They knew they lacked. So, they asked!  "LORD, will you teach us to pray as John taught his disciples?"

Jesus provided a model to pray, but He also used stories to teach the importance of persistence and to trust the generosity of God.

Do you struggle knowing what to pray, too? If so, just ask Jesus to teach you how. I promise it will bless you and give you words beyond your understanding and ability to pray.

Check out the story below.

LORD, teach us to pray.

One way I pray through the Bible

A devotional thought I wrote June 9, 2013.

In Canada I was asked numerous times, "How do I pray the Bible?" 

This morning this was my prayer for Philippians 1:29, "God has given you the privilege not only to believe in Christ but also to suffer for Him." 

I have been given the privilege to suffer for Christ. This is not a unhealthy pursuit of pain, but an intentional pursuit to build the kingdom of God. It is purposeful and life changing. The suffering represents the passion and will to move forward when it is not easy. 

Willing to love when nothing is returned. Willing to serve when it is not recognized. Willing to give when it is not noticed. 

Am I willing to suffer for Christ? Without a doubt!!!

TRANSCENDENT PEACE

My mind is often in way too many places at one time. This moment for me was a holy moment. I am in church blessed by the colors around me, holding hot citrus, honey, ginger tea I made. I'm sipping it as it's warmth fills my body on a cold day. I really am  listening as Elvin O. Torres  preaches on peace. Yet, I am thinking of Naomi Bates Frizzell. She gave me my mug because it says, "Be you". I am always saying, "Thank you for being you. When she saw it, it made her think of me. I smiled inside as the memory filled my heart. I am following along reading the verses as Elvin reads them and taking notes on his four points of peace.

Then I heard Elvin say, "His peace which surpasses all understanding. It is transcendent."

Oooh I liked that! 

TRANSCENDENT PEACE

TRANSCENDENT PEACE! 

Go ahead and just say it aloud, 

TRANSCENDENT PEACE

Now that is a prayer worth praying.

Life crazy? Father, help me to rest in your TRANSCENDENT PEACE and get off the crazy cycle.  

Lots of pain got ya down? Father, You give me TRANSCENDENT PEACE. I will look up to You.

Illness plaguing you? Father, Your  TRANSCENDENT PEACE will help me move through this. Cover me and move through me with Your TRANSCENDENT PEACE.

I have always prayed for the peace that surpasses all understanding, but to say transcendent makes me feel like I am tapping into the beauty of the mystery of God's peace. I know that neither word makes a difference. It is all about who He is and what He gives us even when we may not deserve it. 

But in His goodness God chooses to give us TRANSCENDENT PEACE.

Peace that doesn't make sense. 

Peace that makes us strong. 

Peace that helps us hold our heads high and walk through. 

Peace that gives hope.

Peace that is present. 

Peace that shuts the enemy up because it is evident God is with us. 

So I marked the moment God blessed me with the prayer of TRANSCENDENT PEACE!

Will you pause and pray for His TRANSCENDENT PEACE to be evident in you today? I know I am!

Shalom y'all.

Prayer for Afghanistan

How to Pray for Afghanistan 

Father, You are with us! You are our help in our time! You promise in Scripture that if we call to You, You will hear us and You will answer. We come right now on behalf of a nation that has fallen to evil. You hate evil. You are the Most High God of all nations and You are a God of love who cares about what happens to Your children and to innocent people. 

You warned us in Scripture that when we hear of wars and rumors of wars to not be alarmed. You told us that nation would rise against nation and kingdom against kingdom. You reminded us that these things will be because they are the birth pains of what is to come. You commanded us to be on our guard and to be ready to be witnesses before rulers that will beat us. Father, it is not easy! Help us! 

Right now, Your children are in dangerous situations and innocent people are being violated because evil seeks to reign for moment. We know that victory is in YOU! We know that good will overcome evil. 

You tell us that when we lose our earthly tent to remember that this is not our home. You are building us a home that is eternal. We need to focus on our heavenly home and not our earthly home. We know we do not belong here! 

Thank you for the promises that though mountains may be moved, Your steadfast love will remain. It cannot be shaken. And the covenant of peace YOU give us cannot be removed. For You are faithful and true and Your compassion overflows and Your peace surpasses all understanding. 

As men, women, children are in hiding right now and fear for their lives. We come and ask that You keep them hidden. Just as Jesus, Peter, and Paul were able to escape through the crowds unseen give them the ability to be unseen and escape. 

Numerous times in Scripture when the enemy was greater than those who are for You, You routed the enemy by their own hands. Please cause confusion in their camps. Cause them to destroy one another and through natural means be removed from the scene before attack even begins.

 

Wisdom begins in the fear of YOU! And wisdom is greater than any form of strength. Pour out YOUR wise counsel upon Your people and the innocents! 

The word refuge is a place you run to because you have been forced out by danger or crisis. LORD, YOU ARE OUR REFUGE! It is not a place, but a person. 

You promise that You will be our dwelling place that You are trustworthy, faithful, and true. That You will protect us like a mother hen covers her chicks under her wings. 

You promise You will hear us, You will answer us, You will deliver us, You will give us long life, and You will give salvation to all who call upon YOUR NAME! 

We come now and ask You to rescue brothers, sisters, and innocents from the enemy’s snares. Rescue them from illness. 

Please command Your angels to go before them. Help them to take courage! Give them boldness. 

Show them how to be Your witness. Give them opportunity to share about Jesus and how YOU so LOVED the WORLD that YOU GAVE YOUR SON, JESUS! And that ALL who BELIEVE in HIM will NOT PERISH, but HAVE EVERLASTING LIFE! 

We run to You and trust YOU! You will never leave us and never forsake us. In Jesus Name, amen!

The following Bible verses are what the above prayer is based on. 

Please take the time to read them and pray through them yourself. Ask God to use them to make you strong and confident as you pray and to grow in faith. 

Verses: 

"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging." (Psalm 46:1-3). 

When I am in distress, I call to you, because you answer me (Psalm 86:7). 

For the kingdom is the Lord’s. And He rules over the nations (Psalm 22:8). 

This is what the Lord says: Do what is just and right. Rescue from the hand of the oppressor the one who has been robbed. Do no wrong or violence to the foreigner, the fatherless or the widow, and do not shed innocent blood in this place (Jeremiah 22:3). 

There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers (Proverbs 6:16-19). 

The Lord tests the righteous, but his soul hates the wicked and the one who loves violence (Psalm 11:5). 

When you hear of wars and rumors of wars, do not be alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come. 8 Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be earthquakes in various places, and famines. These are the beginning of birth pains. 9 “You must be on your guard. You will be handed over to the local councils and flogged in the synagogues. On account of me you will stand before governors and kings as witnesses to them (Mark 13:7-9). 

“When you go out to battle against your enemies and see horses and chariots and people more numerous than you, do not be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, who brought you up from the land of Egypt, is with you. When you are approaching the battle, the priest shall come near and speak to the people. He shall say to them, ‘Hear, O Israel, you are approaching the battle against your enemies today. Do not be fainthearted. Do not be afraid, or panic, or tremble before them, for the Lord your God is the one who goes with you, to fight for you against your enemies, to save you.’ (Deuteronomy 20:1-4). 

But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and manifests through us the sweet aroma of the knowledge of Him in every place (1 Corinthians 15:57). 

O give us help against the adversary, For deliverance by man is in vain. Through God we shall do valiantly, And it is He who will tread down our adversaries (Psalm 60:11-12). 

 For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands (2 Corinthians 5:1). 

Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,” says the Lord, who has compassion on you (Isaiah 54:10). 

Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,” says the Lord, who has compassion on you (Philippians 4:7). 

They got up, drove Him out of the town, and led Him to the brow of the hill on which the town was built, in order to throw Him over the cliff. 30But Jesus passed through the crowd and went on His way (Luke 4:29-30). 

Then the angel said to him, “Put on your clothes and sandals.” And Peter did so. “Wrap your cloak around you and follow me,” the angel told him. 9 Peter followed him out of the prison, but he had no idea that what the angel was doing was really happening; he thought he was seeing a vision. 10 They passed the first and second guards and came to the iron gate leading to the city. It opened for them by itself, and they went through it. When they had walked the length of one street, suddenly the angel left him (Acts 12:8-10). 

25 About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them. 26 Suddenly there was such a violent earthquake that the foundations of the prison were shaken. At once all the prison doors flew open, and everyone’s chains came loose. 27 The jailer woke up, and when he saw the prison doors open, he drew his sword and was about to kill himself because he thought the prisoners had escaped. 28 But Paul shouted, “Don’t harm yourself! We are all here!” 29 The jailer called for lights, rushed in and fell trembling before Paul and Silas. 30 He then brought them out and asked, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?” 31 They replied, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household.” (Acts 16:25-31). 

As soon as they began singing, the LORD confused the enemy camp (2 Chronicles 20:22). 

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding (Proverbs 9:10). 

Do not fret because of evildoers or be envious of the wicked, 20 for the evildoer has no future hope, and the lamp of the wicked will be snuffed out (Proverbs 24:19-20). 

Being wise is better than being strong; yes, knowledge is more important than strength. After all, you must make careful plans before you fight a battle, and the more good advice you get, the more likely you are to win. Wise sayings are too deep for stupid people to understand. They have nothing to say when important matters are being discussed. If you are always planning evil, you will earn a reputation as a troublemaker. Any scheme a fool thinks up is sinful. People hate a person who has nothing but scorn for others. If you are weak in a crisis, you are weak indeed (Proverbs 24:5-10/GNBUK). 

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. 2 I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” 3 Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence. 4 He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. 5 You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, 6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday. 7 A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. 8 You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked. 9 If you say, “The Lord is my refuge,” and you make the Most High your dwelling, 10 no harm will overtake you, no disaster will come near your tent. 11 For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; 12 they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. 13 You will tread on the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent. 14 “Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. 15 He will call on me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. 16 With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.” (Psalm 91). 

Proclaiming the kingdom of God and teaching about the Lord Jesus Christ with all boldness and without hindrance (Acts 28:31). 

In whom we have boldness and access with confidence through our faith in him (Ephesians 3:12). 

The wicked flee when no one pursues, but the righteous are bold as a lion (Proverbs 28:1). 

And when they had prayed, the place in which they were gathered together was shaken, and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and continued to speak the word of God with boldness (Acts 4:31). 

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life (John 3:16).

Remember Me!

When I was pregnant with Mikayla I found myself in the doctors office and him telling me, "If your heart doesn't stop racing we are going to have to hospitalize you until the baby is born." I had three weeks left until delivery and that did not sit well with me. I wasn't stressed but my body was in a distress beyond my control. 

The doctor left the room to start the paperwork. I sat there stunned. Wondering what I would say to Greg. When I remembered the Bible story about Hezekiah in Isaiah 38 and how he turned to the wall and prayed after being told, "You are going to die." I loved how Hezekiah prayed and asked God to remember him. God heard his prayer and answered. 

I thought, "If Hezekiah can do it. I can do it." So, I rolled my giant self sideways and looked at the wall in the doctors office and prayed. I prayed something like, "God, if you can remember Hezekiah and grant him favor, I know You can remember me, too." I then just waited for the doctor to come back. 

The doctor came back in and re-examined me and said, "I do not know how this happened. I have never seen anything like it, but your heart rate is normal again."  I immediately told him what I did and that I prayed. He ignored the prayer part and said it was because I turned on my side. But, he was still putting me on bed rest until Mikayla came, but at home.

I knew it was God. He remembered me. He heard my prayer and He answered. Some might tell you that it is selfish to ask God to remember you. Yes, our remembrance needs to be about the character of God and what He has done, but it is also okay to ask Him to remember you. 

In Luke 23:42, the thief on the cross said, "Remember me when you come into your kingdom."  And the Psalms are filled with requests. Psalm 106:4 says, "Remember me, O LORD, in Your favor toward Your people; visit me with Your salvation."

Remembrance is a gift. It is a gift to remember the character of God and all He has done, but it is also a gift to ask Him to remember us. He desires to give us good gifts. He hears us and He answers. 

Have you ever had a. Moment when you asked God to remember you and you can clearly state how He answered? I would love to hear about it.

Be in the Word. 

Be with Jesus. 

Be Transformed. 

Shalom y'all!

Do you ever wonder if what you do matters?

Do you ever feel like what you do does not matter? And maybe you tell yourself, "I am not the ___. So what does it matter?" You fill in the blank. As I read about the choosing of seven leaders full of faith and the spirit to become table servers in Acts 6 so the disciples could devote themselves to prayer and the Word, I noticed that after praying over the seven table servers we are told, "So the Word of God spread. The number of disciples increased..." 

Do you see how each person's part is so important? Seven full of faith and spirit led people can make a huge difference as a table server. We might wonder, Is this because it gave the disciples more time to pray, study, and share?  Or is it because the seven are so full of faith and spirit led that they are doing the ministry where they are as they serve? 

I would like to say, "Yes!" to both! 

The first table server mentioned was Stephen. Stephen was so full of God's grace and power that great wonders and signs came from him and people noticed.  Opposition arose against him. Yet, the opposition could not stand up against Stephen's wisdom so they plotted against him and stoned him to death. 

Stephen was a table serving Saint! And the first Christian martyr written about in Acts.

Do you get it? Whereever you go there you are! Whatever you do you are supposed to be! Give what you have as you go. It is never about the position. It is about who you are as you do! 

If we humble ourselves and ask by faith for the Holy Spirit to fill us with His presence, power, and grace. He will answer, "Yes!" That is a prayer God will not say, "No!" to if we seek to do it for His glory. 

Beloved, you matter right where you are, right where you are at! God will use you if you ask. 

Do you live your life right where you are so full of faith and the Spirit of God so that the Word of God spreads because of you?

Why not? 

And if yes! I imagine there is a bit of shine on your countenance!

Confessions of Anger

Have you ever had one of those moments when as soon as it was rolling out of you, you knew you had walked out of love? Now, I am not talking about being loving. I am talking about the kind of moment when you know you are losing a grip on what you know to be good, holy, right, true, and quite simply kind! Suddenly, without warning you find yourself knee deep in offense and whether you say anything or not your heart is no longer walking in love. And if you do say something you realize that if there was a video of you as a human it would depict a not so loving human. I had one of those ugly moments recently. I just snapped. Call it hormones, menopause, frustration, impatience or whatever you want, but it came out of me like a coke bottle that was about to explode. Just typing this embarrasses me. UGH! But, I would be a liar if I didn’t say I acted like this on occasion. I am so glad it doesn’t happen very often, but it happens. It is real in me. I am human. UGH! No, double ugh! I hate evil and I hate it most when it is in me. I found myself leaking tears for several days as I tried to process what in the mess was going on inside me. 

I have been praying for the LORD to give me much fruit in this season of my life. I do not want to waste time and I long to be fruitful. This moment of ugh did not match my prayer life. But, as I prayed and pondered my momentary madness, I realized I had stuffed A LOT! A LOT! And I needed to let some things go. Have you ever done that? I realized that in the attempt to act godly and not be offensive myself, I had allowed some occasions to be pushed down instead of grieving the pain that was caused me. I would tell myself, “Oh, I must forgive!” “Let it go!” “Move on and forget it!” But, the reality is my heart had been wounded and no attempt to reconcile had been made on my part or if it had it was handled in a cavalier, dismissal, or unkind way. It actually took someone being kind in the middle of a confusing moment for me to realize how much my heart had been wounded. 

How do I as a loving woman of God release it? How do I find healing when one of those that caused the pain died last year and one refuses to even dialogue and honestly if this person did the patterns have revealed that it best that we not engage. I know that I cannot change anyone. But, I have learned that the good LORD can change me. I soon realized that part of my prayer for bearing much fruit just happens to be that He wants to prune some pain in my heart. 

So, what is a girl to do? I knew I needed a day with GOD alone. I wanted to take the time to just list it all out and then just burn it. 

I love how GOD pours truth into us or even at us when we are in need of it. Our staff at ASM are working through the book, “Celebrations of Discipline” by Richard Foster as a team building activity for our staff meetings. I chose months ago to do submission and confession because I knew they were the ones I would like to grow in. LOL! Well, I discovered as I studied submission that if I am truly submitting then I am helping myself and those around me to be surrendered to the will of God. Well, guess what! In confession, Foster challenges the reader to take the time to write it all out on paper and take it to someone and confess it. I love it when God affirms something through another that you have planned to do. Foster reminds the reader that the gift of confession releases a dear friend because we become a reminder of God’s forgiveness. 

“If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained” (John 20:23). 

My girlfriend, Sabrina, used to call this being Jesus with skin on. There truly is something amazing that happens when we confess something and get it off our chest. Suddenly, we are not alone in our darkness. And when you add in someone that is holy and a good listener that wraps you in the cords of compassion and reminds you of the Father’s forgiveness, well, it is quite beautiful! 

I told Greg, “I am going to list out all the things that are stuffed inside me as anger and then burn it.” 

I am blessed because Greg listens even when he was the very one I dumped on! He did two things for me that were so good. Neither of us can handle us being in a fight for long. We will make up because we are a mess otherwise. After we both sat and stewed for quite a bit I said, “I am so sorry I just let you have it.” I will be honest I was sitting there thinking, “I don’t want to apologize! I still want to be mad because I am mad!” But, I also know that will not bring healing and movement so out of obedience to what I know is right and good I said it.

Then Greg said, “I forgive you!” There it was so simple. He forgave me. I felt it, too, the minute he said it. I confess I sat there for a moment and thought I don’t want to say, “I forgive you!” But, I made myself do it! “I forgive you!” He nodded and we still sat in silence. Sometimes, you just gotta sit in your mess and wait for the emotions to catch up with your obedience. And it did. 

I hate being ugly! I hate unkindness! I hate evil! And I will say this a thousand times over, I hate them most in me! So, I set a date on the calendar and I set the day aside to be holy. It was to be my day to sit and process it all with God. I had to release it more to Him than to a human. I needed a holy work done in me and I most definitely was not the person to make that happen. I just needed to fall flat on my face before GOD and just unleash. I had A LOT OF ANGER in me! You need to know it was not at one person, one event, or one thing. It was A LOT of people, places, and circumstances. I put on quiet jazz got out my spiral notebook. I did not want this in my beautiful journal. This was ugly and it was going to be BURNED! 

Did you know that in Hebrew the first person that the word repent was used to first describe as an action was GOD? Go look it up (Genesis 6:6). 

I once learned that the repent in this verse means leave the house, burn it up, and to never return. That is a little terrifying when you consider it was God who first repented! God regretted creating humans when He saw their wickedness. If that does not do something to your heart, then we need to have a serious conversation! I looked up on Youtube the Hebrew word for “repent” and a video came up titled “Five words you should pray in Hebrew.” So, I paused to watch the video. Here are the five words the video provided: 

Hallelujah means “Praise the LORD!” It honors His beauty, power, faithfulness. 

Teshuvah means “repent and return to God.” It surrenders to His forgiveness.  

Tsedek means upright behavior and wise actions. It reveals His righteousness.

Chesed means “loving kindness or mercy.” It reveals His beauty, grace, kindness, and generosity. 

 

Shalom means “peace.” It is meant to be a prayer and blessing. In our heart, life, and world. 

I immediately knew this was of God and that I must use these five words as the prayer pattern for my prayer time. So, I began to praise God for His beauty, power, and faithfulness. I kept this portion short. I wanted to honor Him, but for today I knew my longer portion was going to be in the Teshuvah. I began to write. I can write pretty tiny, and I kept writing and kept writing. I knew many of the things I was putting down I had already walked the path of repentance and forgiveness, but in case there was any lingering anger I wanted to give it over to God. I wrote until I could not write any more. Immediately, I felt my heart feel the tension unleash. I then began to write over and over all of it the five words. 

Then it was on my heart to write “You are forgiven. You are free!” This was a reminder that it is just as true for each person as it is for me. 

Then I wrote Jesus over and over. Honestly, there is nothing spiritual about what I was doing in writing the repetitive words. It was more for me to rewrite on my heart the truths that each one embodies, and it felt good to me. It isn’t something that should be considered a model, but more as a confession of what God walked me through on this precious journey of confessing anger. 

When I was all done, I sat and looked at my scribbled mess, and I wanted to create! I wanted to be able to paint a masterpiece for each of those five words. They are mine now. They are deeply embedded in my heart, mind, soul, and spirit as part of my prayer journey with the LORD. I feel as if they are His grand gift to me because I sought Him. He allowed me to find Him in words that brought me healing, power, and yes authority to release and unleash my pain and move more towards joy. I love that He immediately gave me visions for creativity. How like God to provide a creative vision after a time of holy confession. 

When Greg came home for lunch on the morning that I wrote my confessions of anger, I showed him my scribbled mess. He looked at me and said, “Why do you still have it? Go burn it! Do you feel better?” 

I have a good friend in my Greg. I am blessed. I told him I wanted him to see it and honestly, as I look at it, it is beautiful to me! If I did not confess it then I could not find release from it. It represented the gift of God’s beauty, power, forgiveness, grace, mercy, generosity, faithfulness, and peace to me. 

Have you ever been so burdened? It sure hurts. I am so sorry if you have your own pain, anger, or even sorrow that you bear. I wrote about my journey hoping that you might go to God in prayer and confess it and release it to Him. I pray you find joy and the gift of creative vision so that you may go and bear much fruit. I know I am much better for having done it and I know you will be, too! Shalom y’all! Tara 3/23/21😉

PS. I chose not to burn it. I have it tucked away in one of my Bibles. It became a visual reminder to me of the gift God gave me in this moment of exposure.

How to pray a specific prayer from Scripture

Several people asked me questions about how to pray specific Scriptures, in this video I answer those questions and share different ways I have prayed Scripture. 

Click on the title to open the video:

How to pray specific Scriptures