Death Doula: Grounding in Peace

There are certain things that ground us. It can be the sound of someone's voice. It can be the familiarity of our surroundings. It can be a song or a pet. It can be holding the hand of a loved one. It can be a favorite verse or story of the Bible that reminds of God's ever present help. It can be a prayer that gives you hope in the moment. The things that ground us give us peace.

I bought this blanket in Kenya for Papa. It is a Masai Warrior blanket. I had no idea how much this blanket would mean to Papa. I bought it because he is always cold. But the fact that it is a traditional warrior blanket encouraged his heart. He asks for it all the time. At times, it is almost a demand. "Give me my warrior blanket." Now it is "my blanket." It brings comfort, warmth, and a vision of strength. It grounds Papa. I had no clue when I bought it what it would mean. 

Papa comes home from the hospital today. I have known this day was coming. We moved Papa, Mema, and Aunt Janie here to help them in this season of life three years ago. It has been so much fun. It has been so hard. It is beautiful. We have learned so much.

We have been silly and danced to oldies music. You might find us "Celebrate Good Times" with a conga line while we are"Staying Alive". Or find us pushing through to the theme song of ROCKY. You might laugh at our morning stretches as we wake up to "I'm so Blessed" and Papa seems to think they are saying, "Taco Bell." Sometimes, we are "Sitting on the Dock of the Bay," when we need a more mellow day. We are always singing about the "Goodness of "God" and praying with the song "The LORD Bless You." 

In all of this, it occured to me this week when we were told Papa was going on hospice that I am a Doula. 

When we had to choose a hospice care team to join us in our home, it became quite clear. As I did my research, I noticed that one company truly gets it. They are holistic in their approach. They do all that the other groups do in the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual help, but they add music, art, and massage therapy as some of their touch points. They get it. They want someone to have joy in this transition.

This is when it hit me. We have been acting like a Death Doula. The hospice team is a Death Doula. Just as a Doula helps a mom give birth, what we have been doing as a family is helping our family birth into eternal life.  

We pray, we touch, we sing, we laugh, we cry, we encourage, we remind, we wait, we help...

We make sure the heart, mind, soul, and spirit are ready to move forward. It is really quite a beautiful gift. 

So we begin a knew phase in our birthing journey. For those that have done this before, thank you for your role model. For those that will follow, embrace the gift of being a Doula. You can be the one who brings true grounding by helping your loved one walk into eternal life.