Healthy Give and Take

A pastor friend in Africa sent this to me. There was no explanation just what you see. I think it must have blessed him so he shared it with me. I do not know if it is because he sees this behavior in me or doesn't. But, I had to respond with the otherside of the give and take. Please read through what was sent and then my response. Give and take requires both. We cannot expect our spouse to be the only one giving and us being the one taking.

From Pastor friend:
Got this somewhere:
MARRIAGE IS GIVE AND TAKE

1. When a woman is humble, she becomes a natural charm to her husband

2. When a woman is submissive, she gets what she desires from her husband

3. When a woman is trustworthy, she can control her husband's finances

4. When a woman is hospitable, she can host her husband's meeting

5. When a woman is friendly, she becomes her husband's best friend

6. When a woman is jovial and playful, she can unlock her husband's sad mood

7. When a woman is appreciative, she receives unexpected gifts from her husband

8. When a woman is respectful, she can attend her husband's cultural meetings with him

9. When a woman is understandable, her husband feels free to tell her even the ugly

10. When a woman is peaceful, her husband comes rushing home each time

11. When a woman is tender hearted, she makes a great mother for her kids

12. When a woman is slow tempered, she knows when to approach her husband in times of misunderstandings and arguments

13. When a woman is not vulnerable, she is loved by her husband

14. When a woman does not keep secrets from her husband, her husband tells her all of his every moves

15. When a woman is prayerful, she becomes a powerful support system selfless, her husband relies completely on her

16. When a woman is creative, she and the husband can figure out the future together

Unfortunately when you are not any of these, it becomes so hard for you to enjoy marriage. Seek God's help to become any of the above, you can't do it on your own. Greetings to all submissive women.

A GOOD WOMAN BUILDS HER OWN HOME

This is my response...

There is a flip side to this... this is all about the woman's side. It should also say...

1. When a man is humble, he is respected.

2. When a man is submissive to God a woman will follow him.


3. When a husband is trustworthy, a woman doesn't feel the need to control his finances.

4. When a husband is hospitable and has the spirit of welcome a wife delights in hosting for husband.

5. When a husband is friendly he will discover loyal love from his wife.

6. When a husband is jovial and friendly he will discover the playful side of his wife.

7. When a husband is generous without expectations, he will find his wife celebrating him publicly.

8. When a husband is respectful, he find his wife cheering him on in public meetings.

9. When a husband takes time to understand his wife, he will discover she will unlock her secrets for him.

10. When a husband is a peace maker, he will discover his wife and family surround him when he returns.

11. When a husband becomes tender hearted, he will raise up children filled with peace and kindness. He will find his wife seeking him more.

12. When a husband is slow tempered, his wife will gladly reason with him.

13. When a husband is vulnerable with his wife, she will care for his heart.

14. When a husband does not keep secrets, his wife will trust him.

15. When a husband is prayerful, God hears his prayers, and this changes a family.

16. When a husband is creative, it unlocks creativity in the family. When a husband allows his wife to be creative, he unlocks out of the box thinkers and kingdom builders.

A GOOD HUSBAND AND WIFE BUILD A HOME THAT BUILDS THE KINGDOM OF GOD.

Husband's and wives are to submit to God, submit to each other, pick up their cross daily, deny self, and follow Jesus.

When we do this, it is not easy, but blessings will be born in us. Our character grows, and when we are willing to choose to be the one that matures, we no longer need to force our spouse to mature. We will pray for it and long for it, but trust God to be the one to do it.

I read what the pastor sent to me to Greg and he agreed it was only focused on the wife. So, I read to him what I wrote and he agreed it is true. We know both sides of the give and take. We both have failed miserably and we both have done it right beautifully.  The good news is that getting it right covers a multitude of mess ups.

Shalom y'all. 

Each Tribe will Camp by It's own Standard

"Each family will camp by its own standard..."  I read this verse and wondered, what does that mean? I immediately thought of how we want to set our own standards and do things our own way. Oh boy, can we be so self centered. So, I began searching to find out the original meaning. 

A standard was a visible sign or banner much like a flag pole that could be raised high so all could see. 

There were three types of banners raised.

1. The great tribal banners.

2. The subdivided portions within a tribe banner.

3. The family house banner. 

It was observable.

It helped with organization.

It was strategic. 

It was positional.

It was a military communication strategy.

It was reverential.

It was spacial.

It was territorial.

It was recognizable.

It was tribal.

It was an identifier. 

It was a communal solidifer and at times divider.

It was a reminder.

No one knows what was actually on these banners. There is debate on whether it was a color, an animal, or symbol. 

If you lived under the banner all knew where you lived positional to the tabernacle where the presence of God resided. If your banner was down all knew you were either defeated by an enemy or you needed help. 

I remembered when the kids were little and on occasions when they would get out of the car, I would say things like, "Don't forget you are a Rye!" Or "don't forget you are a Christian!"

I would say those types of things because I was raising a verbal standard/banner over them as a reminder of who they are, who they belong to, and how we behave because this is our identity.

It seems that there are all kinds of "standards" being raised today. 

The "standards" revealed how close each tribe was to the presence of God in the tabernacle. This was a positional thing. But it was also a spiritual and communal thing as well. It revealed to the community that they were a part of the family of God. It revealed to outsiders that they belonged to the family of God. The standard identified them as a people that chose to worship YHWA. 

As a follower of Jesus, we now carry the presence of God within us. We no longer have the tabernacle as the place that holds the presence of God. Our standard (banners) look different. We no longer raise a flag. We might have Scripture verses hanging in our home or wear a cross, but I would like to propose that standards are our life choices. These become our banners to identify us as being close to God. 

Please hear me out, I am not talking about good works. I am talking about living out Christ like character, the sanctity of marriage, the sanctity of life, the respect for all people, loving your enemy, etc. And then living these out in humility and with a serving spirit. 

I find myself asking, What is the standard you are raising? Can others identify immediately your proximity to the LORD based on your standard? 

Something worth praying about. Don't ya think?  I know I am!

The Gift of Consistency

Play song. A BEAUTIFUL DAY by Jamie Grace

The crazy gift of consistency. 

In order to jump start the mornings of my cuties, I started playing two morning songs (A Beautiful Day by Jamie Grace and The Wake Up Song by Mandisa). 

I would play loud enough to not get growled at and then begin dancing around as feet begin to wiggle and smiles begin to form. All of us could feel the morning worship wake us up and fill our souls. It blessed us!  But I had no idea how much this song would fill me up and help me to focus on a beautiful day. I am finding God is using what I am doing to love well to love deeply in me. Crazy fun God.

So when I was at the hospital with mom, Papa asked Greg, "Are you going to play music and dance for me?" Lol! Greg stuck to giving his morning joke.

Mom and I played the songs each morning, too. She told me, "I really like that song, 'It's a beautiful day'!"  The funny thing is she said it to me as I was telling God how much it meant to me that I wake me up singing it. I was in awe of how He was ministering back to me the way I was choosing to minister.

"It's a beautiful day. I am gonna get my worship on! A beautiful day!"

Oh, I did go home and get Papa out of bed with the songs! 

A beautiful day! 

Listen and receive. Get up and get your worship on! It's a beautiful day!

Human Flourishing

At the State of Omaha, the Barna research team talked about research out of Harvard on human flourishing. I looked it up and read it. These are essentially my quick notes. I love how researchers are discovering truths that are clearly laid out in the Bible. 

Essentially, thr research showed three areas that we can influence human flourishing as a leader.

1. The mind

2. The behavior

3. Our relationships.

They discovered that taking time to daily expressing gratitude, taking time to savor, and imagining your best self develops well being in the mind.

They discovered that the exercise of virtue leads to happiness. So be good to yourself and grow your character. Find ways to be kind to others and serve in your community. By finding ways to do something out of your character strengths daily, you will grow human flourishing in you and others. The cool part is that it inspires others to do the same.

They discovered that when we engage in relationships through marriage, work, and religion, we will flourish. They ended this section on the importance of forgiveness and its role in healing and hope.

For those that know your Bible you will feel very affirmed by what you know. For those that don't know what the Bible says, this article should inspire you to go to the source that cares more about human flourishing.

The key to all of these. The more you do them daily the happier you will be and feel as if you are flourishing. The challenge comes in doing them all more than just once a week. Think 5 times or more a day. 

https://hfh.fas.harvard.edu/how-to-flourish

Who do you send?

Who can tell all about my activities?  Who am I willing to send to go share about them? 

Who can I send to encourage another for me? Or go and give instructions that I trust? 

Who brings comfort to my soul? Who will give comfort to another if I say, "Will you go?"

Who prays in such a way that I would send them to go pray for another?

I love that Paul can list specific men by name for each of these questions.

This morning as I reflected through these questions many of you on this page are some of the faces that came to mind that I could send in my name. It is truly a beautiful trust. 

Thank you for being you.

Why are oil & vinegar significant to Easter?

As I was grocery shopping, I saw a beautiful jar filled with oil and vinegar and I thought, maybe I should buy this for the kids for Easter this year instead of a chocolate bunny. So, I picked up a couple of jars. I thought the jar was beautiful because it had two jars nested within one another making it look like they are one. I couldn’t wait to give them the gift. 

On Easter morning, while I was reading my Bible and praying a thought came to me. I had the visual in my mind of the jar I just bought, and I heard the question, “Why is vinegar and oil significant for Easter?” I had a few ideas that I already knew but decided to research it just the same. 

Once again, God caught me and showed me the beauty of who He is! 

When we toured in Israel, we were able to see how much the people cared for their olive trees. We even saw an olive tree that was believed to be well over 2,000 years old. We were told that the olive tree represents life, longevity, stability, prosperity, and joy. It has the capacity to go through a fire and being chopped off and still grow. It has the resilience to endure the seasons both the drought and the rain. 

The olives that are grown on an olive tree are used to press into oil. The olive oil is thought to symbolize divine presence. 

While in Israel we toured a mock village of Nazareth and one of the things we were able to see was an olive press. The olive is placed on a massive stone press that has a huge round boulder that is pushed with a large log. As the log is rolled in a circle around the press, the huge boulder would squish the olives to produce oil. We were told that the first press is believed to be the holiest of oils. This oil is used for anointing oil and to bring light to the temple. It is then pressed again a second time. 

The second press of oil is used for healing. It will become medicine. 

While the third press of the oil is used for cleansing. It will be made into soap. It is also used for common lights like what will be found in the home. So the pressed olive oil becomes anointed light, healing medicine, and cleansing soap. 

As I reflected on what Jesus did for us at Easter, I was reminded of Jesus going to the Mount of Olives to pray. His prayers set Him apart as holy anointed as at the Light of the world. 

As Jesus prayed, He felt the first crush of the weight of what He would bear in our behalf. Jesus prayed, “Not my will, but your will be done” as sweat filled with drops of blood fell from His brow (Luke 22:42). Imagine Jesus enduring His first press in becoming the anointing oil that brings life as the Light of the world. 

I then was reminded that Jesus was beaten, scourged, spit on, and crucified. This was His second press. In this press Jesus prayed, “Father, forgive them for they do not know what they do” (Luke 23:34). He chose to press in and become our eternal healer. Our medicine from heaven. He was willing to provide forgiveness as healing for our souls when His own body needed relief from the humiliation He suffered. He chose us over Himself. 

The final and last press came when Jesus said, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit. It is finished” (Luke 23:46). In His last breath, Jesus became the one who cleanses us of all our sins. He was crushed for our iniquities. He became our cleanser. 

Light, Healer, and Cleanser! Jesus our anointed One! The symbolism of the oil washed over me. 

I then heard, “What is the significance of the vinegar?” Oh, I knew they put it on a sponge and offered it to Jesus. 

Even though the Romans would hang people on a cross, they would offer to the person on the cross a cheap vinegar wine that was laced with a drug to help the person endure the suffering. The person dying on a cross would become very thirsty because the wounds would leak, and dehydration would take over their body as they would sweat. So, the Romans would dip the vinegar wine in a hyssop and lift it up to the person so that they could endure their suffering. When Jesus cried out, He was thirsty they offered to Him on hyssop the vinegar wine, but Jesus refused to drink it (Matthew 27:34). 

Why would Jesus refuse? Did He refuse because He didn’t want to dull His senses? Did He refuse because He wanted us to know He bore the full weight of the crush from our sins? Did He refuse because the pain was so unbearable? We don’t know. But He refused. 

The second time Jesus was offered the vinegar it says that when Jesus received the drink on the hyssop, He gave up His spirit (John 19:29). 

The hyssop was very symbolic to the Jews. It was on the hyssop at Passover that they soaked in blood to paint around their door posts so that the Angel of Death would pass over their home (Exodus 12:22). Jesus died on the cross so that the Angel of Death will pass over our lives because Jesus paid the debt so that our sins and shame are forgiven. In that moment, His blood became the Passover lamb for you and me. 

With a clear mind and intentional heart, Jesus refused to take the vinegar as He was becoming our anointing oil that brings life, light, healing, and cleansing. Jesus willingly allowed Himself to go through the press of the cross to become our eternal life and light that give us stability, prosperity, and joy as well. 

Hmmm… I had no idea when I picked up the jar of oil, how much it would mean to me. It will now sit in our home as a symbol of the gift Jesus gave us at Easter some 2,000 years ago.

Take Refuge!