How to have an evergreen marriage

When Greg and I walk through the park by our house, there is a blue spruce that was planted two years ago that we walk past. I love this blue spruce so much. The tips of its branches show its growth through a lighter green blue waxy color. It just captivates me. Recently, Pastor Phurba asked Greg and I to come lead a marriage conference for his church, New Life Bhutanese Nepali Church and as we walked by the tree as the sun was setting, I had the thought. “I love evergreens! They stay green all year long.” I think this is why I love them so much. I then had the thought, “What if we call the conference, How to have an evergreen marriage?” Just like evergreens, there are certain things we can do to help our marriages stay evergreen through the different seasons. 

I remembered that Dr. Gary Chapman taught a series on the four seasons of marriage. He wasn’t the first person I heard describe marriage in the four seasons, but it is the one I remembered. I will provide a basic summary of what I recall from his videos on YouTube and book. So, I decided to use his four seasons of marriage and the things I learned about evergreen trees and why they stay evergreen through the seasons to set up our conference.

Dr. Chapman starts his series of Seasons of Marriage with winter because he says that most couples show up in their winter season for counseling. But for our purposes, I want us to start with the season of spring because this is where most couples begin their relationship—SPRING! Oh, the season of spring is so glorious. You remember the wonder of it. It is filled with excitement and discovery as you begin to get to know each other. Your heart is open and full of optimism. Communication is so easy and flows without effort. Both of you delight in connectedness and communication. 

This season is often considered the honeymoon phase. It is so much fun to watch and yes, it is a little bit sickening to watch, too! Greg and I laugh all the time when we are with our daughter and son-in-love. They are young newlyweds and whenever we are together, they are so excited about their love that when we ask them a question, they will stare at each other as they answer and not even look at us. It is hilarious! Spring is simply glorious! I started here because I want couples to remember their story and the incredible glow of spring! 

The crazy cycle of marriage does not allow us to grow neatly through the seasons. They are not linear or orderly for that matter. We can be in the moment of spring and suddenly find ourselves in fall. Wait, what? How is it that spring moves so quickly to fall? What about summer? Well, with marriage it happens. It happens when we allow relationship drift to creep in. We stop communicating and we feel less connected. We might discover that we pursue things that fill our love tank, but not our spouses and suddenly we realize that we are both doing things, but they are not together. This is a critical time in our relationship because if we do not stop and find ways to connect, relate, and communicate deeper truths, we will find that our spouse can quickly become more like a stranger than our lover. We do not want to allow ourselves to drift too far into fall. If we do, we will find winter soon approaching with its cold isolation. 

The only reason I am able to write this out is because we as a couple know this reality so well. Early on in our marriage Greg would travel for training and I had to stay home with the kids. I really struggled in this season because I felt so alone and isolated in parenting. It was so hard for me to not be angry at Greg when he returned because I was envious of him traveling. The irony of it is that Greg didn’t like traveling. He was envious that I got to stay home and just be with the kids. We had to work hard to communicate and not fight during this season.

Peace as our Protector

Recently, I had this overwhelming anxiety that was robbing me of my peace. You know the kind you cannot define but you feel it in your chest and nothing seems right. I don't know if it was because of grief or because the schedule has been intensely full lately, but I felt the grip that wanted to rob me of peace. 

As I taught on prayer in Luke 11, God kept whispering to me ASK, SEEK, KNOCK. Do not stop! Walk by faith in me. So I found myself on repeat. ASK, SEEK, KNOCK. 

I then heard this short phrase, "Peace is your protector" on a prayer video. This sent me on a search. I spent a couple of days just looking up peace verses. 

Sometimes, I feel like peace is elusive like I know I am supposed to have it but at times I catch myself lacking it. But here is the deal. Peace is a gift. It has already been given to us. Peace is always with us if we are in Christ because He is the Prince of Peace (Is. 9:6). He promised the disciples, "Peace, I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid (John 14:12). 

Essentially, I am a peace walking person. By this I mean my heart, mind, soul, and spirit carry peace within them because I am His. 

So what am I to do when I realize that I am not walking in peace or giving peace as I walk about my day?

A few verses showed me that I have a part in being peace as a protector. 

I must choose to focus my heart and mind upon Jesus. We are promised that "He will keep in perfect peace those whose eyes are kept on Him" (Is. 26:3). Perfect peace is "Shalom, shalom" in Hebrew. I love the repetition because it feels like a double portion of peace. But it literally means that we remain steadfast and calm despite the storm or circumstances we are going through. Our focus and trust is on Him and Him alone. It is His work and not our own moving in and through it all. 

Peace.

This is when we experience and know the peace of God, which transcends all understanding as it guards our hearts and our minds in Christ Jesus (Phil. 4:7). Do you see the word guard? This is active, continous, on going like a soldier standing watch at the city gate, but in this case it is God being vigilant as our heart and mind guard. 

Peace.

A simple conversation will fly from my lips in these moments when I realize I am not a peace protector. "Hey, God! I know You are there! I am anxious. I don't know why. Help me to see Your perfect peace and know the mystery of its protection."

In practice, I am trying to live out Exodus 14:14, "The LORD will fight for you, and shall hold your peace." 

Say this next line nice and slow.

God, Almighty, will fight for you. 

Now repeat it again.

This literally means that He will devour, eat, prevail, war, do battle, and consume what is against you. Oh my!

Peace.

Now here is the grip or hold that we must take. Be still. Let go. Be quiet. Yes, silent. We do not have to fight it. The LORD will fight for us as we stay silent. 

I don't know about you, but I am a fighter. I have words. So many words. But, here I am reminded the battle is not mine. It is His. It is about letting go and letting God do His thing. I just need to surrender to the mystery and gift of peace as my protector. 

Peace guards our hearts and minds. It is our mental armor and heart guard.

We are promised that God will fight for us or atleast that is a promise He made to Israel as they fled Egypt and if God will do this for one group, He will do it for another. This type of fighting for you is considered all consuming. 

Our role is to just be silent. Be still. Or to say it another way, we are to cut and engrave Him in our heart and mind as our focus. Not all that other stuff we are thinking on. It is about trust that God has got you! 

Let go of that stinking thinking!

Open the gift of peace. It is quite simple: look to the Prince of Peace. Call upon Him to save you or speak into the situation. Then rest as you watch and are amazed at how His peace surprises you with a mystery that cannot be explained, and soon it will be experienced with certainty.

"Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice! Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you" (2 Cor. 13:1).

Peace is our Protector!  

Shalom, Shalom! 

Human Praying Tree

My human praying tree! God gave me this drawing during a prayer retreat. I rendered the pencil sketch I made. 

Shameless Audacity: Lord, teach us to pray! (Luke 11:1)

"LORD, teach us to pray!" (Luke 11:1).

I remember the first time I read this verse and thought, "Well, if the LORD can teach them to pray. He can teach me, too."

I started boldly and confidently asking God in my young 20's to teach me how to pray. Honestly, I was a broken mess, but I wanted to honor God and do His will.

Today, as I study this passage about the disciples learning how to pray, I am caught by the phrase "shameless audacity in the NIV." 

When I look at the order of what Jesus said about prayer, I notice two things I must never forget.  Prayer starts with worship and a kingdom mindset. We must get this right!  

Worship Him! 

       Our Father, holy is Your Name.

Kingdom Mindset! 

       Your kingdom come, Your will be done.

THEN our bold confidence can be shameless and audacious because it first begins with the right mindset. 

Shameless audacity has been translated in so many ways...

Persistent

Impudence

Importunity

The Bible Stock Exchange suggests that this type of prayer is willing to disturb the peace. It ignores the cultural consideration and puts our friends and neighbors in the awkward situation of having to save face. 

The cool part is that with God, I can go without shame with this boldness because HE LOVES TO GIVE GOOD GIFTS and THE HOLY SPIRIT.

Again, here is the crux. This is not for us to get what we want. Prayer is a relationship that is full of worship and kingdom mindedness. Then it flows from a holy mindset.  We will discover that what we need to talk about will have the good and pleasing will of God. It will be full of forgiveness, repentance, and a righteous pursuit. This becomes the most important sustenance and nourishment for our daily bread.

Yes, LORD, TEACH US TO PRAY! Show us how to approach You with shameless audacity that is actively seeking You to receive and know Your good and perfect will. In Jesus' name, amen

Psalm 23: Simple sketches for story recall

As my friend read Psalm 23 in different translations for us to meditate on and draw near to God, I sketched quick sketches for the Psalm. 

Sketching or doodling is a memory tool for me. If I sit and draw I am more likely to recall what I am hearing. I think it is because it causes me to pause and be still. My mind focuses and I can hear. I can literally in my minds ear hear my friend reading Psalm 23 and see in my mind's eye where she was sitting and the light from the window.

What gives you this super power for recall? Is it music? Poetry? Dancing? Singing? Listening? Writing? Or something else like washing dishes or repairing a car? 

See if you can recall the Psalm as you look at my images.

How would you recreate Psalm 23 so you can remeber in your time of need?

This littke image makes me smile because I drew goodness and mercy (love) following me all the days of my life. 

A Royal Decree from the Soveriegn Lord to draw near to Him through prayer

I just created this prayer invite from the LORD using Chatgpt.

It is a personal invite for you and me to join Him in prayer. Please share it.

Seeking Shalom

Oh my goodness! I am so pleased. I loved this picture the moment I saw it. I saw a human Christmas tree that was praying. 

I was recently at a prayer retreat and God would not let me stop thinking about it. He has really convicted me this week that I have let too many things jump into my prayer time and become a distraction. Ugh. But this is good. It is always God when He convicts us so we can grow.

I haven't had time to paint recently. I miss the worship of the pause as I paint. I am so glad God gave me this today. 

I am so very happy with it! My heart is super joyful. I hope it inspires you to pray as well. My heart is that it will inspire you to pray peace for the nations. 

Seek shalom y'all!