It was my turn to drive so I got to choose what we listen to on the radio. I opened my YouTube and there was a Timothy Keller sermon about dealing with your anger. I knew immediately I needed to listen to it because recently I recognized that I am dealing with anger raging inside me. I struggled with knowing why this was there. It would hit me unexpectedly and I could feel it boiling inside me. I felt like I did not know me. I absolutely hated the moments when I felt it “eep” out of me. I would never allow it to unleash, but dealing with it was frustrating me. I was praying, repenting, and seeking God. I even asked a doctor, “Is this what menopause is like?” But, one day in my quiet time the LORD revealed it to me. I am grieving and one of the first stages of grief is anger. Ever since we moved my mom, Poddy, and Aunt Janie in I have felt the grief of knowing that I moved them here to help them die. It feels morbid even typing that, but I have talked with my mom about it, and she agreed it makes sense. So, I started giving myself permission a while back to feel my grief so it could be released and not pent up in me.
As the road hummed along and my Greg slept, Timothy Keller said something that caught my attention profoundly. When Moses asked God to show him His glory, God revealed the truth that He was slow to anger. I thought, “Wait! What?” I could not stop thinking about this revelation because the word I am praying this year for me to be known for is glory. I am asking God to show me His glory so I can give His glory away like Jesus did. I had to go and study Moses’s conversation with God. It is found in Exodus 33 and 34.
When Moses asked God to show him His glory, God told Moses that he could not see it fully or he would die, but God would allow His presence to go before Moses and as He did, He would declare His name to Moses. He told Moses to go to a certain place to meet Him at the cleft of a rock and while God passed by showing His glory, God would cover Moses with His hand as He passed by. God would allow Moses then to see His back. I realized that Moses had a responsibility in seeing the glory of God. He had to go and present himself to God and seek Him.
As God passed before Moses the LORD declared, “I am the LORD, the LORD!” This repetition was to remind Moses that God is unchanging. He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. It occurred to me that if we are to understand God, we must know His character. His character reveals His glory. So, what were the character traits that God felt the need to proclaim to Moses in this moment of glory revelation? Not only is God unchanging, but He is merciful—full of compassion. He is gracious—the One who gives us undeserving grace.
The one that hit me the hardest was He is slow to anger! Yes! God wanted Moses to remember that He is slow to anger! I love that this is listed before God tells Moses that He is abounding in steadfast love—loyal and kind and faithful. As if these are not enough God then points out to Moses that He keeps His steadfast love for thousands by forgiving both iniquities (sin) and transgressions while still holding accountable the guilty or the ones that refuse righteousness—He keeps justice. I love that God made a point to point out the different types of sins that need forgiving. I recognize that He understands that each of us will battle with our own guilt and shame over these. God then pointed out to Moses that one of His names is The Jealous One. God is jealous for us. He is jealous to be in a relationship with us and does not want us to have any idols before Him.
So, what does God’s glory look like?
Unchanging, merciful, gracious, slow to anger, abounding in steadfast love, faithful, forgiving, just, and jealous.
How did Moses respond? Moses immediately bowed and worshipped the LORD! He then asked God for His favor and forgiveness, but what caught me was Moses asked that he and his family be the inheritance of the LORD! He didn’t ask for an inheritance. He asked that he would be an inheritance! What is the point in knowing the glory of the LORD except to give it away? I was reminded of John 17 and how Jesus prayed, “You gave me Your glory and I have given Your glory away that they may know You!” The LORD revealed His character to Moses because it was what would enable Him to know Him. Granted we cannot know God fully now. We see dimly, but He will answer our cries and enable us to know Him. I am astounded that in this we have the privilege of ministering to God. It isn’t just about us taking from God, but about us ministering to Him, too.
In this season, I needed to see if there are any other verses about being slow to anger and boy was, I surprised! I discovered that there is a Proverb that reminds us that it “makes good sense for one to be slow to anger because it is to his glory to overlook an offense” (Proverbs 19:11). Notice that when I am slow to anger it is to my glory. Why? It reveals that the fruit of the Spirit of the LORD are at work in me. It reveals that I am able to control myself and be merciful full of compassion and gracious giving undeserved grace. This reveals that I have God at work in me and thereby shows off His glory in me.
Yes! LORD, yes! Show me YOUR glory! And please allow the character traits that You revealed to Moses to be made known in me so that others may know Your glory through me.
I don’t know which character trait you needed to hear about in order to catch a glimpse of God’s glory, but I imagine that one of them hits you profoundly if you are truly seeking to see His glory. Take a moment to be like Moses and present yourself before the LORD and invite Him to show you His glory but be ready that He will invite you to act on it. For me, it is begging Him to help me not sin in my season of anger as I grieve.
I know that my mom is here now, and I am enjoying her fully, but it is so hard to let go and know I must say goodbye for a season at some point. My mom is one of my best friends along with my Greg. I want to bless her now be her inheritance for His glory. So, if you feel a little “eep” from me these days would you be so kind to show me His glory in you to help me along my way?