I should know better than choosing something that I know is going to hit me in the face as I do it. The crazy thing about fasting something is that this means we spend way too much time thinking about it. Or at least I do. Honestly, this is why I focus more on internal things. The whole point of a fast is so we can draw closer to the LORD.
I don’t know why I am so surprised when spiritual lessons hit hard. I asked for it. I should expect it. I confess that I wasn’t anticipating that asking for a conscious awareness of every time I have a spirit of condemnation would cause me to face some pretty intense mental spiritual battles. Now that I am on the other side of a few of them, I recognize now that it was warfare! UGH!
Honestly, it happens so fast I am not even conscious that it is happening and then boom. There it is. I find myself in the mental struggle of condemnation and because I am praying the LORD reveals to me that I need to repent. Yep! Repent. You know that moment when you acknowledge, “I am in sin!” and you confess it so you can draw closer to God. If you have never tried it. You should. It is quite liberating.
Well, I found myself mentally justifying my attitude. IF… But… Well… Fill in the blank for any justification you have given for why you condemn. UGH! The mental spiral flipped the switch where I wanted to justify, and I recognized that I was condemning. It is crazy how our minds can be so messed up. In this situation, I had someone that offended me. It hurt. Ugh. I felt justified in my condemnation. I felt I had the right to be miffed and righteous in my attitude.
BUT GOD!
You know when Jesus was in the wilderness, He used scripture to counter Satan’s attacks. So, it is always wise to find scripture that will help you in these moments.
Here is the verse that God gave me. It is written by Paul. If possible, I invite you to read it as if it is spoken with as much sarcasm as you can imagine Paul saying it. It is written in Taraphrase!
“Who are you to condemn?
Jesus is the one who died!
More than that…
He was the one who raised from the dead!
He is the one who sits at the right hand of God!
He is the one who intercedes for us!” (Romans 8:34).
HAVE YOU DONE THIS? I THINK NOT!
I have to laugh! So, this is what I am saying to myself when the spirit of condemnation runs amuck in my mind. It not only shuts me up but makes me laugh. It helps me to see the beauty of the gift Jesus has given for me and for all of mankind.
Who am I to think I have a right to condemn when Jesus willing died for the one I am condemning? Whether the condemnation be of myself or another.
I am still in the process of being steadfast to renew my mind. I am still on the journey of growing. I have learned to laugh at myself a lot and yes to repent A LOT! I am drawing closer to God as well! But the one thing that surprised me the most which should not was how much the LORD has awakened love in me. When I have taken the time to honestly pray and humble myself before the LORD with my spirt of condemnation, He allowed me to love deeper! Seriously, y’all! WOW! What a wonder!
I found myself seeing, hearing, knowing, and wanting to understand in ways I had not when I allowed the spirit of condemnation to run amuck!
What if each of us chose to become more aware of how easy it is to condemn ourselves or others? What if we chose to remind ourselves, we haven’t died for them, or sat at the right hand of God, or not really prayed? What if we just paused to pray? What might that look like? I have a feeling God might actually awaken love in more circumstances that we realize.
Oh my! I had no idea y’all what God was going to teach me through this fast, but I am ever so thankful!
Shalom y’all!
