Where do you feel worn out?

What in your life wears you out? You know that feeling that drags you down and makes you feel harassed, hassled, or exhausted? 

Yesterday, I came across Daniel 7:25 and was caught by the statement that the "little horn" which in this case is referencing the one who is the anti-Christ or in words we understand Satan, will "wear out", "oppress", or "wear down" the saints. 

Okay, seriously! Let us sit here for a moment. The enemy of God will strategically do whatever it takes to wear us down. In the original language, this implies being so wore down that you are no longer usable. It is a harassment that affects us mentally, emotionally, socially, and spiritually. It is consumption. 

So let's ask again, what is wearing you down or consuming you? Is it scrolling social media or the internet? Or maybe the news? Or a schedule that is so full that you no longer pause for fueling your soul? Or maybe you have forgotten how to play? Or maybe you spend too much time watching TV? Or maybe you have stopped dreaming or creating? Or you have so isolated yourself that you no longer know how to relate or connect? Well, the list can go on. These are just a few of my consumption possibilities that wear me out if I do not keep watch over them. 

I immediately am reminded that when Jesus saw that the people were harassed and hassled like sheep without a shepherd He had compassion on them (Matthew 9:36).

We are not left hopeless with this warning that the enemy will wear us down. We are also given a beautiful promise. 

Satan's power will be taken away. Daniel 7: 26 actually tells us THE COURT will sit and his power will be destroyed forever. FOREVER. 

It took me a moment. At first, I thought this meant that Satan would be made to sit as well as his minions, legions, and dominion. But it actually means that Jesus' court will sit. We are told in Psalm 110:1 that Jesus will place Satan, sin, and death under His "footstool" to show complete defeat. Imagine with me Jesus completely relaxed with His feet propped up on a stool with the enemies of God sittting under His feet. It is done. Finished. Victory completed. Satan's court does sit under Jesus' feet defeated. 

Y'all we have hope in Jesus. He is our author and finisher of our faith. Right now, we need to keep our eyes on the ONE who sees that we are harassed and hassled. He has compassion for us. He sees the atrocities of man and the depth of our depravity. He knows who is evil and who is innocent. He is returning with complete victory. The evil one and all who join him will be defeated once and for all. 

So, we must draw near to Him. Seek Jesus! Call upon His name. He will answer you with compassion. We are remind in Daniel 7:27, "Then the sovereignty, power, and greatness of all the kingdoms under heaven will be handed over to the holy people of the Most High. His kingdom will be an everlasting kingdom, and all rulers will worship and obey HIM." 

Would you rather be worn down by the one who will be defeated or be one who takes part in the heavenly kingdom?

Feelings versus obedience in God's covering

Our class was discussing the importance of worship. When a heated discussion started on feelings. I don't remember my professors name or even his face, but this lesson is a lesson I have taught alot through the years. Lately, I have shared it so much that God gave me a visual to try to illustrate it.

Imagine with me in the Old Testament when Moses was asking Pharoah to let God's people go so they could worship their God. Do you remember the battle of the plagues? There were ten in total. Each plague was used to illustrate that God was greater than any other god. Egypt had many gods that "plagued" the land. God used the plagues to demonstrate His sovereignty over all of creation. His people were to worship Him and Him alone. They were to have no idols before Him.

But the final last plague came with a warning and promise.

And the Lord said to Moses, “When you go back to Egypt, see that you do before Pharaoh all the miracles that I have put in your power. But I will harden his heart, so that he will not let the people go. Then you shall say to Pharaoh, ‘Thus says the Lord, Israel is my firstborn son, and I say to you, “Let my son go that he may serve me.” If you refuse to let him go, behold, I will kill your firstborn son.’” (Exodus 4:21-23)

We must first recognize that Pharoah was viewed as a god. The last and final plague was to prove God's power and authority over Pharoah and Egypt.

This is where our illustration began. My professor shared...

Imagine all of the different families across Egypt as word spread that Moses said, "You must cover the lentil of our door posts with the blood of a lamb that has been sacrificed. When the Spirit of God passes over Egypt when He sees the blood, He will Passover and the first born son will be saved from death. If there is no blood covering the first born sons in that household will die."

One family in fear would cover the door frame with great detail ensuring the blood covered the frame and lentil completely trying to not miss a spot. Focused on the details. Painting up and down as their hands shook wondering if they got it right.

Another family would argue over what makes up the lentil and the frame while loudly discussing how much to stroke across the top and down the sides. Their voices tense and rude with one another.

Yet, while another family known for being noisy and finding laughter in everything, would slap the blood on in  swift strokes across the lentil and fast strokes down the frame while laughing and telling stories to each other. Not really caring if it covered every nook and cranny. Having fun despite the seriousness of the situation.

While another family will ignore the command to cover the lentil and frame. They didnt feel the need, but they felt they had peace about their relationship with God. He would pass over because they were good.  So they would ignore the command about covering the lentil and door frame with the blood of the lamb because they were too busy focused on other things that distracted them.

Which family's experienced the blessing of death passing over them?

I hope you said, the three that put the blood on the lentil and frame.

Their emotions and discussions DID NOT play a factor in what God did. However, their obedience did matter. For the LORD said, "When I see the blood, I will pass on."  It did not matter if it was a lot or a small amount. It simply mattered that they obeyed and were covered by the sacrifice of the blood of the lamb.

While the family that did nothing suffered because they did not obey. They lost their first born sons that resided in their homes because they did not cover their door with the blood of the lamb.

Often, we make excuses for our lack of obedience because of a feeling. We feel, "I am okay with God. I have peace. I am good", but if we do not obey His Word, we do not honor Him.

In our own way, culturally we have made ourselves little gods. We make our feelings, wants, and desires that are contrary to the Word of God more important than God. That is false worship. It is the worship of ME. What I want, they way I want it, and when I want it. These feelings will not save us. Only obedience to God's Word will bring forth His grace.

As I have been meditating on this for several weeks, God gave me this visual in a painting to show what the coverings could have looked like. One morning, I woke up with the image of the cross and Jesus' blood in the middle of the doors.

Just as God provided a plan for Moses and the people of God to get out of bondage many years ago, He has provided for us a way to have His covering for eternal life. It is believing that God sent Jesus to die on the cross, rise from the dead, conquer sin once and for all (John 3:16). We are given the promise that if we believe in Jesus, we will have the gift of eternal life. It is His shed blood that covers us and causes death to passover eternally.

Have you covered your heart with the blood of the Lamb? 

Jesus' blood sacrifice is the covering we are given as our promise today. This is how we get His presence with us and are able to walk in true worship of God.

Shalom! Shalom!

What am I becoming?

I have no idea if you have ever encountered this, but there are times when a conversation is happening when I realize that I am confronted with the attitude, "I am fine. It feels good or feels right to me, so it must be okay with God." 

I find myself stumped sometimes in these moments feeling like I do not know how to respond. I might think of something later, but in the moment, I think I am surprised and go blank. 

Recently, this kind of conversation had me pondering holiness and what causes us to veer away from it. Our culture's pursuit of "I want what I want, when I want it" mentality has me stumped and well quite honestly very sad. Don't get me wrong. It isn't because I think I am holier. I know I AM NOT! I have had my own moments of pursuing what I wanted without any thought to the consequences and then reaped the suffering that came at my own hand. 

My grief comes from knowing the consequences of thinking, "I am okay" when I was not and truly wishing someone would have intervened for me. 

So, this morning I sat in the pursuit of holiness and the importance of it. I am hoping to convey the gift and beauty. Honestly, I recognize that my lists will not do anything for the one that is not seeking holiness. In fact, it will feel like death. But, for the one that truly has a heart to turn to God and pursue Him and righteousness it will bring life. 

I am hoping that it will help this one. Maybe it be you. As for me, it was a beautiful reminder of why I long for the mind of Christ to be made known in me. 

What does it mean to be holy as I am holy? (Lev. 11:44; 1 Peter 1:15-16)

In Hebrew, the word "holy" means to be set apart for a purpose. Holiness is about an active pursuit of God and reflecting His character. It is about moving forward in obedience in every area of your life.

Interestingly, what we worship impacts our holiness because we become what we worship. 

What we worship is a reflection of our inner being. So, we must ask ourselves, “What am I becoming?” 

Because our holiness begins internally and what is internal will become how we become externally. It will affect every relationship. 

We must remember that holiness is not about rules, laws, or regulations as much as it is the pursuit of God and allowing the mind of Christ to become the formation of our character. IF our mind is on becoming more like Christ, we are less likely to pursue the things of this earth.

This is not about a life of perfection, but of pursuit. It is about growing, knowing, learning, and leaving behind that which will hinder our ability to reflect His glory. The fun and crazy part is that when we start to get our focus on Him, these things begin to bring about a change in us that we are not even aware. Without realizing it our minds are changing and we become surprised by the Mind of Christ in us! Pure JOY!

Sacredness of Sound

Have you ever noticed how the sacred often comes in a holy pause that is filled with silence or a quietness that brings peace? 

I found it interesting that in the building of the temple in 1 Kings 6:7, we are told that no hammer or tool was heard at the temple site while it was built. 

Y'all it took 7 years to build.

Think holy awe, but in the construction. 

Construction sites are always noisy. But in the building of the Dwelling Place of God no hammers or tools were heard.

Do you sense the peace?

His dwelling place was built in a peaceful atmosphere.

Did you know we are told that the righteous will live in quiet dwellings? (Is. 32:17-18). 

Did you know that there is quietness in His presence? (Hab. 2:20).

Or that we can wait in peaceful rest for the LORD? (Ps. 62:1-2,5).

Or that Jesus remained silent in the face of His accusers (Is. 42-1-12, Is. 53).

God will stop the noise of the ruthless (Is. 25:5).

There is a time to be silent (Ecc. 3:7).

And noise without love is empty (1 Cor. 13:1).

I don't know about you, but I know when I am dwelling in peace and when I am not. There is a sacred awe that fills us when we guard against the noise when we draw near to God. 

I am asking myself, "What noise am I allowing in when I approach God?"

Fasting condemnation for Lent

Our pastor has invited us to consider what we might want to fast for Lent. This is not something that is required for our faith, but it is an invitation to focus our minds on God by giving something up. So, I simply asked God, “What would you like for me to give up?” Probably, not thirty minutes after my prayer, I was listening to a podcast when the pastor said that his church was going to give up condemnation for Lent. 

I thought, “Wait! What?” 

He then quoted that the Bible says, “There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1). I didn’t hear anything else he said.

I have always prayed this verse. I have also learned there are greater lessons to be learned when I fast something internal versus something external. Honestly, my more powerful and core life lessons have come from an internal fast. Once I fasted for 30 days asking God for anything. I simply chose to let my prayers just focus on what I know about Him when I prayed. IT RADICALLY CHANGED ME! I learned more about God and saw crazy amazing answers to prayer without ever asking God for anything. 

So, I have decided to fast condemnation. Oh boy! I do believe I am about to go into another life lesson that will change me at the depths of my core.

How often do my thoughts condemn me? Far more than you can imagine! How often do my words condemn me? Again, too many times. How often do I allow the spirit of condemnation to enter my thoughts against another? Again, shamefully, too many times. 

UGH! YES! YEP! I need to fast condemnation!

So, what will this look like? 

On this side of the lesson, this is what I hope to do. 

First, I will ask GOD to make me conscious of the spirit of condemnation. Father, will you please reveal to me the moments when I speak or think condemnation. 

Then, I will pray the verse, “There is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus.” I want to cover this struggle with the truth because it is the truth that sets us free (John 8:32).

Then, I hope to cover it with the opposite. Father, how can I show grace and mercy? How can I speak life and love? How can I honor myself or the other? How can I change the mental, emotional, social, or even physical story that might being played in me? 

I will take the time to reflect on the truth that condemnation puts me in the place of acting like I am God and I am not. While conviction will cause me to want to repent so I can draw closer to God. There is a big difference, and the outcome is so different. 

This means I must be aware. This means I must be willing. This means that I must be willing to be obedient in the moment. This means that I must die to thoughts that in the moment I might feel justified in having. 

This is not a new journey for me. I can give you stories of the layers of God teaching me this lesson in my spiritual journey. But this is different. This is me now. Mature, Tara. Seasoned, Tara. Experienced, Tara. I wonder, what HE will reveal to me in this Lent? 

What might God be asking you to give up internally this Lent? Are you willing to dare to pray and try to see what God might cause you to discover about Him and yourself? Maybe you might want to join me in the fast of condemnation! 

Lent runs from February 19th to April 2 this year! 

What better way to focus on God and self-awareness than to give up something internally that hinders honoring Him and personal growth. 

Shalom, Shalom, y’all!

God is Sufficient

God's Word never ceases to amaze me! 

Often, He will give me something special that I know is for the group I am training in a certain story. I have been teaching the story of Joseph for years! But I finally caught this truth this morning. As I was reading the last few verses of Genesis 45:25-28, I read that Jacob was listed first and at the end of of verses Israel was listed as his name. I couldnt help but wonder, "Why?"

Oh my! According to Dr. David Guzik, it is because Jacob was deceived about the death of Joseph, but now as he knows the truth, he is Israel walking in the blessing of knowing and believing. 

My mind immediately went to his naming as a baby as Jacob for grabbing the heal of his brother and then how he stole his brother's birth right. My mind then jumped to his struggle with God at the Jabbok River. Jacob held on until God blessed him. It was in this moment, he was named Israel. God was revealing how He would be sufficient and bless Jacob to be Israel.

I then was caught by the fact that Israel said that God was sufficient. That is worthy of repeating, God is sufficient. Jacob was able to move into his new name because he saw God's sufficiency and believed. 

As I shared this during our study this morning, my translator started to cry. She said, "I am sorry. This caught me." 

I love the beauty of God's Word and His sufficiency. I love that He revealed this truth to me on the morning my translator needed it. I am so humbled by His sufficiency in giving us the truth in the moment we need it. 

We all need to walk into the blessing of knowing that God is sufficient in our circumstances.

Amen!

Shalom! Shalom!

His hand froze to the sword

 

Have you ever struggled with endurance in a circumstance?  

I can't rightly say battle because most of us don't go to battle. But, I just caught something this morning. In 2 Samuel 23:10, we are told that Eleazar, one of David's mighty men, "stood his ground in the battle until his hand froze to the sword."  

At first, I was caught by the word "froze." I thought, "his hand can't freeze to his sword in that region. It doesn't get that cold." Lol.

My mind is so focused on the cold here in the middle of winter that I had a visual of icicles surrounding his had. Lol. But then I paused and thought of how my muscles can feel frozen from over use. 

I realized that Eleazar stayed and fought so long that his focus and determination had him gripping the sword so tightly his tendons and ligaments literally froze. They locked in the stiff position of the intense grip he had to have to ensure he did not lose his sword in the battle.

Wow! He stayed so long that a great victory was won. While, the Israelite troops had retreated, rested and returned, Eleazar had kept fighting. 

Hmmm. So, what makes a person a mighty warrior? It is someone that stays, stands their ground, and keeps pushing through in the battle even when it is tough. They do not release the grip of their sword. It is someone that holds onto their sword and does not let go until their hand has frozen in the position of a tight hold.

I realize we do not have a metal sword in our battles. So, I am going to say it is the sword of the Spirit in our case which is the Word of God. We must use it to the point that our hand is not capable of letting it go (Ephesians 6:10-18).  

How do I grip my sword of the Spirit for battle today? 

I listen to my Bible and read it daily. Every single day. Sometimes more than others. Sometimes, it is just a verse or two because I am so caught by it. But, I am doing it so much that is nourishing my spiritual bones in the deep marrow of my soul. It is the kind of nourishment that my spiritual strength gives me the grip I need to face the battle whatever it may be. I may not be aware of the strength it is giving me, but it is there equipping me for the day of battle.

I then must yield it to pierce through the darkness at hand. As I lift my spiritual sword I discover that the words that I need to remind me of how to live in righteousness in the moment does come to me, but I must choose to lift it up and use it. I am the one that has to swing it into action in my life. This is where my grip must take hold. 

May I be like Eleazar and stay in the battle holding on to my sword until victory is won! Using it faithfully and not letting go. Amen!

A simple process for telling the story of Joseph

As I have traveled and trained leaders in North American, Africa, and Asia, I have become concerned at the reality that few people know the full stories of key characters in the Bible. We have a rich heritage, and the stories provide wisdom for all generations. Something powerful happens when someone hears the whole text of a story. On numerous occasions, I have observed hearers respond by asking where is it in the Bible and how they can either listen to it again or go and read it for themselves? Our goal is to present the story in layers so that it can be grasped at the simplest level and for the hearer or reader that wants to go deeper, they will be able to do so as well. In either case, both will be able to provide a basic outline or summary of the story. 

The strategy is simple. 

It is said that a good teacher can bring a lesson to the most irreducible parts. As I prepare to teach a story, I will create story outlines that help me to remember the story. I have found that this is helpful to others as well. So, in this book you will find a short story outline that can be used to build the story strategy for recall. 

 

In preparation for a trip to Ethiopia, I created motions to use with the story outline. It is a mixture of American Sign Language and intuition. This is not to add to or take away from the beauty of the American Sign Language. I am simply trying to create a motion for story recall. As I shared the story in motion with Grant, Alice, and Emily, the storytellers I was traveling with when I first started this manual, they helped me refine it. I love it because they make me better at what I do. We recorded videos of them teaching the motions while in Ethiopia. 

You can watch the video on YouTube at https://youtu.be/ad2Gs9GPthQ. 

I love that you can hear the jungle sounds in the background of the videos. Or if you prefer you can just read through the descriptions provided in this book. 

The story in motion is short intentionally, so we can do them quickly and capture their attention. The goal is to give them a basic outline for the story and the story plot. In the process, the story in motion also introduces the characters so that the hearer can know the key characters in the story. 

The best part is that they are reproducible because the hand motions and movement help with story recall. If you pay attention, you will notice repeat phrases to showcase patterns in the story. These are helpful in story recall as well and if done right can be turned into a song or a call and response. 

God willing, someone with the gift of music will be able to make these culturally relevant, too. While in South Sudan I asked Emily to write story song for Joseph like she did for the Esther story in Ethiopia that introduced the characters. She blew my mind away. It was so catchy and provided a quick crowd motivator. 

Here is the link for Emily’s story song: https://youtu.be/w3N9VWsFohc.

Joseph Song: A Life of Bows (Chorus). Bow-Bow-Bow 

   They Bow Down Down Down 

   To the Ground Ground Ground

    Brothers Wheat in a Dream 

    Sun Moon Stars in a Dream 

    Jacob asks: Can This Be? 

 (Chorus) 

    Sold to serve Potiphar. 

    Joseph blessed, then accused.

    In the Jail, Did Prosper 

 (Chorus) 

   Pharaoh Dreams, What’s it Mean?    

     Famine Comes, Egypt Saved.        

         Brothers Eat, He forgave. 

 (Chorus) 

   OUTRO 

   Bow-Bow-Bow 

   WE Bow Down Down Down 

   To the Lord Most High! 

There’s beauty in surrendering your life to the One who made it. We see God at work through Joseph’s life from an outsider perspective that allows us to see the result, while for him at the time was full of trials in different seasons. 

He submitted to the Lord who made Him, and God was with Joseph, and he prospered even in difficult situations. 

Through it all, God was still in control, and He is worthy of our praise. He Is the Lord Most High! 

Emily Pedersen 

South Sudan Song Composition (January 2023)

Once the story in motion has the group involved in the story, we will then present a short summary to give a big picture overview. The story summary is a mini metanarrative that is told in three to five minutes. You can watch the Joseph story summary at https://youtu.be/7cFx7wa7HRU. The story summary allows the story plot to be revealed in an overview. It helps to build the story recall. A three-to-five-minute story does not feel impossible to recall. It feels doable. Our goal is for this to be conversational and relational as if sitting and telling a family story. Sometimes, this may be all you can do with a group because who has time to sit and listen to a whole book or fourteen chapters? 

Then, we will tell the whole story in depth. Each chapter will be broken down into shorter stories and different story tellers will tell each story. This shifting of storyteller and story chunking actually tricks the mind into thinking it can recall more information because it considers each storyteller one chunk of information and thereby recall more content. 

So, what can this look like? While in South Sudan our team of storytellers partnered with Pads4Pupils (women’s hygiene) and Healing Kadi’s (medical mission team). While they did medical missions our team of storytellers would tell stories to those waiting. First, we would tell the story in a short song that Emily created. This made the group laugh and join in the fun. Then we would tell the story in motion. This helped them know the people and plot. Then we would tell the short summary so that they could know an overview what they will hear and finally we would tell the whole story of the character. When the crowd was able, we would follow this up with a basic QAR (question, answer and response time). 

They will hear the story in three ways that will build on what they know and hear. If God allows it, we will then use questions to dig deeper while going over the story a fourth time. 

1. Story outline in motion 

2. Story summary 

3. Story in full 

4. Story Q&A 

If time permits, we will have them create story dramas or skits and we always challenge the group to go out and tell the story to someone. 

If we are given only an hour, we will do motion, summary, and drama or motion, summary, and Q&A depending on the type of audience. 

You can listen to the whole story of Joseph at https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCvaPbTnXHiQpnqApKZkE4jW8FPFDrxn2. Excerpt from Rye, Tara, "Joseph," 2021.

Did you know that the first recorded convert to Europe was a woman?

Okay, how is it that in all these years I did not see this until now? 

Did you know that Europe's first recorded convert in the Bible was a woman? 

We all love the story. If you are familiar with the Bible you know her as Lydia, the business woman who sold purple linen (Acts 16:11-15).

She was known for being a worshipper of God, but when Paul shared about Jesus, the LORD opened her heart and she believed in God's gift through His Son. She and her entire household were baptized that day.

Here is the deal. Her decision was followed by incredible generosity and hospitality. Her home and business became a catalyst for launching the spread of the good news of Jesus into Europe. 

Wozer! Imagine! God can take that which seems so small to change nations. 

I imagine Lydia never knew the impact of her decision. But we are told in Philippians 1:1; 4:15-16 that the church of Philippi supported global missions! 

A simple yes. 

An open home. 

A gift of hospitality. 

A generous heart. 

A catalyst to nations.

All because Paul was willing to listen to a vision by God to go to Macedonia to help. 

These are worthy things to ponder as we go into the New Year.

Father, may we listen and obey Your Holy Spirit and Your visions to go. In response, may we give a simple yes and follow through with hospitality and generosity for Your glory! In Jesus' name, amen.

Do I really trust God's ability to communicate into my circumstances?

Do I really trust God's ability to communicate into my circumstances?

I am pondering over Saul's conversion in Acts 9.

Wow! If I look at this passage solely on God's ability to communicate to us. It really shuts me up. 

These two men in this passage really represent the extremes of culture. One man, Saul, bent on killing Christians or at minimum putting them in prison. The other man, Ananias, is simply described as a believer in his home or atleast that is where I have visualized him.

God used a dramatic moment for Saul as he walked among many. They all heard, but Saul was struck blind. The intensity of Saul's conversation with God matched his personality and mood. Determined and certain, "Go and wait until I show you." A man at a fast pace forced to pause.

Ananias' conversation with God came quietly in a vision. It allowed dialogue and affirmation. It was simple and affirming, "Go. I chose this man to do my work."

Can you imagine pondering the awe of that truth? God chose the murderous Saul to go do his work and God chose Ananias to go tell him. Ananias was one brave dude!

Okay, wow! And to think, I sometimes act like God can't work in this or that circumstance. Oh I might know He can, but my words and actions do not reflect it.

What if I understand fully that if God can stop a murderer and make him a saint maker and he can take a man fearer and turn him into a bold proclaimer then GOD CAN communicate into my circumstances. God doesn't change. His plan is still the same. He wants people to know Jesus' name and that God sent Him so all could be in relationship with Him. 

Maybe the only thing stopping His communication is me talking to Him!

Worthy of pondering for sure.

Struck blind

Grant and I will tell a tandem of Acts 13:1-11 in a few weeks and as I study this crazy story, I am struck by something so profound.

Okay, this story is about a false prophet, BarJesus. His name in Hebrew means Son of Jesus. These short 12 verses gives him six descriptors: A Jewish sorcerer, false prophet, named BarJesus, called Elymas (which means wise in Arabic), and magician. Well more if you include what Paul says child of the devil, full of deceit and trickery, who never stops perverting evil.

Why so many?

He sought to stop the faith of Sergius Paulus the governor/procounsel of Paphos in Cypress.

Saul (Paul) whose name will transition to Paul in the middle of this incident. Paul realizes the intent of this man's deceit and realizes that BarJesus has attached himself to the governor Paulus, who was known to be intelligent. So he tells BarJesus, he is to be struck blind for a season because he will not stop going against what is right. 

Paul, the very one struck blind by God so he would believe strikes another man blind, and then Paul professes that BarJesus will remain blind for a season. Such an interesting connection. 

This causes the Governor Paulus to believe as he listens to Paul's teaching. 

We need to catch that it is in this very moment that Paul transitions from to the Jew to the Gentile. 

The Jewish sorcerer is symbolic of what happened to the Jewish nation at this time. They kept distorting what was right, so they are blinded for a season and will not see. The blinders will be removed at some point, but not now.

Holy wozer! My mind in blown as I caught this truth today. 

This chapter is all about transitions.

Transition from Jew to Gentile.

Transition from Saul to Paul (the use of his Hebrew name to Roman name.)

Transition from Barnabas and Saul to Paul and Barnabas.

Oh the irony of the one struck blind for a moment so he could see to strike blind the Jewish sorcerer to set off the movement to the Gentiles! 

Oh my! I am struck with awe!

Multi-cultural...Mutli-racial...Multi-socio-economic...It is all there!

Multi-cultural...

Mutli-racial...

Multi-socio-economic...

It is all there!

Acts 13 caught me this morning.

Barnabas: A Greek man

Simeon: North African (a black Jew)

Lucias: North African (Greek, Jew/ Phoenician culture)

Manean: possibly mixed, Jewish or Edomite/Arab; Idumaean.This isn't stated, but it is implied by what is stated. 

John Mark: Roman/Jew.  

Okay, this is what hit me hard this morning.

"Another was Manean. He grew up with Herod, the ruler of Galilee." (Acts 13:1). 

His race or nation were not mentioned. It was who and how he grew up. He grew up with Herod Antipas! You know, the one who beheaded John the Baptist and executed Jesus. 

Manean was one brave dude! 

Herod knew him well. Manean was raised in the royal court yard with Herod! Now, he was praying with Barnabas and Saul (Paul) as a prophet and teacher. Now Manean was enjoying the movement of the Holy Spirit as He sends out Barnabas and Saul to teach the very things that caused Herod to kill John and Jesus (Acts 13:1).

Truly, when you get it. The good news of Jesus breaks down all the barriers.

Multi... becomes a part of your being. Why?  Because our God is a God of inclusion! 

Your nation or station mean nothing to the Creator of all things. 

I have sat in rooms with tribes that included both the royal and the poor, but what blew my mind the most. They would not have sat together before, but for Christ. Because of Jesus they joined together letting go of their race, station, and tradition. Why?  Because of their common faith that God sent His Son for all of man kind. 

Our God is a God of multi-surprises for sure!

Does my soul know it's worth?

As we sang O'Holy Night at church, I caught the line "Till He appeared and the soul felt its worth," I was caught by the wonder of this verse.

Does my soul feel His worth? 

If my soul does feel His worth then my soul has felt its worth.

Christmas is my favorite time because so many will pause to enjoy the wonder and be in awe of what God has done. I have to smile inside because even the most vile cannot resist a baby. Well, unless they have a heart like Herod. 

Do you get it? 

Knowing His worth brings hope! A weary world rejoices! 

Please pause long enough to just let the lyrics penetrate you so you know His worth and your own. 

May this Christmas awaken hope in you. Much love! Tara

O holy night! the stars are brightly shining;

It is the night of the dear Savior's birth.

Long lay the world in sin and error pining,

Till he appeared and the soul felt its worth.

A thrill of hope--the weary world rejoices,

For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn!

Fall on your knees! O hear the angel voices!

O night divine, O night when Christ was born!

O night divine! O night, O night divine!

Truly he taught us to love one another;

His law is love and his gospel is peace.

Chains shall he break, for the slave is our brother,

And in his name all oppression shall cease.

Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we;

Let all within us praise his holy name.

Christ is the Lord! O praise his name forever!

His pow'r and glory evermore proclaim!

His pow'r and glory evermore proclaim!

O night divine! O night, O night divine!

Merry Christmas, y'all!  

By Placide Cappeau in 1847

The Gift of Tears

I have a friend who has chosen the word "tears" for her word for next year. 

I confess "tears" caught me. 

I know tears bring healing.

I know Jesus catches our tears in a bottle. 

I did a deep dive.

There are 3 kinds of tears.

1. Reflex tears to remove irritants to protect the eyes.

2. Continuous tears that provide cleansing hydration that nourishes the eyes.

3. Emotional tears that release stress hormones that provide healing as toxins release through them. Crying actually decreases both the heart and breath rate calming our body. 

Did you know emotional tears are thicker and stickier because of the chemicals in them? 

Wait... tears protect, nourish and heal.

So, Why do we fight crying? 

Well, Greg says I cry all the time. Eeck! Lol!

This made me ask, "What are the types of emotional tears that I cry?"

In order as they came to me...

Angry, sad, frustrated, mad...

Silent, lonely...

Happy, joyful, awe, bliss, laughing...

Surrender, fearful...

Release, relief...

Compassion, hope...

Grief...

Blessing...

Connection, affection, bonding, Identifying...

The word "Identifying" made me think of the shortest verse. 

Jesus wept! (John 11:35). He identified and cried just knowing someone was grieving.

There have been moments in my life when I could not cry. The depth of of the moment was either protected or frozen. Probably, in some circumstances the protection was so I could get through it. And the frozen moments were my own brokenness needing a break through. But what always allowed those tears to eventually flow was identifying with another. It was the incredible gift of empathy. It is was in this holy connection that release would finally come and healing release would flow through my tears.

I would discover...

Comfort

Binding

Release

Balance

Connection

Dancing

Healing

Fellowsip

Love

Love is known through tears!

I love that God keeps track of every single tear. I imagine His unseen bottle gently catching my tears cascading down my cheeks. They fall in His bottle carefully captured. I imagine His bottle being biggger than any ocean because our tears are many for the human race yet small enough to be unseen and not felt. His love is shown by His holy collection of tears. A memory of our story. Precious enough to be His holy keepsake. Go read Psalm 56:8.

God sees every tear and hears every cry (Ps. 34:15).

God will wipe away every tear (Rev 21:4).

God will bless and comfort those who mourn (Matt. 5:4).

Sow in tears and you will shout with joy (Ps. 126:5)

He will turn mourning into dancing (Isaiah 61:3).

I guess praying for "tears" is quite a good word. Go ahead and let them flow! Male and female alike go ahead and cry. Remember, the gift of healing that each tear brings and that God is keeping a record in His book and storing them in His bottle. 

How precious are the tears of His children! Why, because He loves you!

How to have an evergreen marriage, Part 3

Summer is the best season of all. I realize that those in the spring season might disagree, but there is something so beautiful about having gone through the seasons and finally reaching summer together. History is how our stories are created. History is what shapes us and gives us depth of understanding. Our history of making it through a tough winter or hard fall season reveals to us our strength of enduring and standing strong regardless of what was brought before us. In the summer season of marriage, we have learned how to communicate reliably with our words and with our micro-expressions that no one else will understand. Summer is when we feel secure and satisfied in our partner celebrating both their good and bad. We can even laugh at each other’s quirks and find joy in knowing and being known. 

There is one thing I have realized that I must do if I want to remain in the summer season. We must continuously be aware of what the Song of Solomon refers to as “taking care of the little foxes” (2:15). Foxes are known to wreak havoc to a garden if not dealt with. The little foxes in marriage are bad attitudes, moments of disrespect with tone, not thinking the best of our spouse in a situation, or not daily finding ways to celebrate them as a person in the mundane. The more aware we are of the little foxes and take care of them, we will better guard the length of our summer. I would also like to suggest that taking care of the little foxes will also prolong your spring or shorten your fall and winter season. 

After thirty-four years of marriage, Greg and I have gone through the seasons both rapidly and slowly. It was the choice to choose love and service that pulled us through. Recently, as we were going about our day, I realized that our highs and lows have made us more one because it is our story. Our story has not been easy, but it is ours. Our daily choices to be respectful or just be with each other in the pain of circumstances have made us stronger. 

Early in our marriage we heard that most couples go through a major life crisis within their first ten years of marriage. We laughed hard when we heard this because God took us through seven years of intense trials in our first years of marriage. Four of them were downright painful. One of the struggles we faced included being told we couldn’t have children. This devastated me. Greg reminded me that God will give us children if He wants us to have children. He was right. God blessed us after five years of praying and waiting. I always worry about sharing this one because I have dear friends that have not moved to the blessing yet. In our seventh year of marriage when Mikayla was a toddler and we were pregnant with Grant we lost everything to a flood caused by Tropical Storm Francis. Overnight, we became homeless with one child, pregnant with a second child, two dogs, and a cat. We had to face the daunting task of rebuilding our home while trying to find some semblance of familial rhythm. I remember walking into church the Sunday after our lives drastically changed thinking, “No one here knows what we have been through or how our lives have flipped upside down!” As God would have it, on that Sunday I was expected to stand up at church and give a testimony. Somehow by God’s grace I did, and I did it without crying or telling them what had happened to us. When I walked off the stage Beth Moore came up to me and said, “Do not stop speaking! You speak with authority! God has His hand on you!” She has no idea how I held onto that word of encouragement through the years or how much it meant to me on that particular Sunday of grief. 

When Grant was barely a toddler, we discovered my mom had a rare form of non nodgkins lymphoma that only eight people in the US had survived past five years. I wailed! Greg had to figure out how to handle me and my mom processing this form of grief. Oh my! My mom is now well over 20 years in remission and lives with us as we minister to her as she faces a lung disease and the loss of her husband of 48 years. Literally, at the same time we faced my mom’s battle with cancer, Greg’s company, ENRON, collapsed and we lost all of our financial security and savings. We was relocated to Nebraska from Texas, so we lost all of our family, friends, and church connections. This caused Greg to go into circumstantial depression. I felt like we were being hit from every angle in our lives. Leaving my mom behind in Texas was excruciating. I didn’t like her facing cancer without us. Starting over in Nebraska was so hard. I wondered if we would ever know the depth of fellowship we had in Texas. 

These very things that hit us hard in our seasons of marriage are the very things that God has used to make us resilient like the evergreen tree. We committed to making choices to love, honor, and obey the LORD and one another through it all. It was not easy, but the fruit born from it matured us and made us grow stronger. As I reflect, I am in awe of all God did in us. We really needed to mature in Christ, and this was the path He allowed us to walk. I am so thankful now for those years because God has used them in so many ways to allow us to love and serve others. So, now when we face a new season, we know we can keep growing through it all. He is faithful and we see to be faithful ourselves! 

Summer is when you have passed through the seasons and found you are content to be together as you weather the seasons because you know you are better together as you go through them than if you were alone!

I am not longer using a Bible app in church

Sarah and I were talking about worship and our preferences for singing or not singing. I often prefer to listen because it is more worshipful for me. Then I said, "If a church were to provide tables and art supplies during worship I would be at the table drawing what God was speaking to me." I see images in my mind's eye when I worship. 

There is something about picking up the pen and simply drawing that causes my entire being to calm down and listen. My Bibles are always filled with notes and lots of drawings, etc.

I then thought, "So, why am I using my Bible app in my phone?" I love it when I read something in my Bible and I may not remember the book chapter or verse but I can flip and find it because a memory map remembers the space it was centered on the page. My minds eye remembers the image.

So, I bought a new Bible. I am going to stop using my phone app that robs me of the mental memory map and go back to drawing in my Bible during the worship service. 

I love a new Bible. It is like the new year. It brings anticipation and adventure. Growth. Revelation. Yes, I am filled with anticipation. 

So, if my head is down and my hands are doodling it isn't because I am not listening. It is because this is how I listen best. 

I am so excited!

How to have an evergreen marriage, Part 2

The season of winter in marriage is the season we do not want to enter because it is where the roots of bitterness start to take hold and we find ourselves dwelling on all the wrong things. We are no longer thinking well of our spouse and seeking their benefit. We find ourselves dwelling on unresolved conflicts, frustrations, or even poor story patterns that are hurting our relationship. It is critical in this season for us to seek help. This is where it is important to surround yourself with wise godly counsel with family, friends, church leaders, and even counselors when needed. It is also wise that if you have not already incorporated this in your life before you should start prayer journaling scripture over your marriage. 

I remember in one of our winter seasons when we were newlyweds, I started prayer journaling through Colossians 3 and 1 Corinthians 13 over my marriage. Our circumstances did not change, but my heart did! 

 We do not have to stay in winter for long if we work at being transformed by the renewing of our mind (Romans 12:2) and dying to self (John 3:3). Early in our marriage, I remember a season after having two children when Greg was traveling a lot for work. I felt so distant and disconnected from him. One evening, I walked into the kitchen when he was doing the dishes. I was so messed up in my head that instead of being thankful for him helping in the kitchen I immediately snapped at him because I felt guilty that the dishes weren’t done. Because we had not connected emotionally or even physically for a while I was allowing a bad thought pattern to roll around in my head. I don’t even remember the poor story pattern was at the time. But, after snapping at him, I stomped off outside and sat on our porch swing and while forcing the swing in an aggressive sway I began to gripe and complain to God. I honestly do not know how I was able to hear the voice of God because my internal screaming was at an all-time high, but in His sweet and sovereign grace He allowed me to hear His voice and I heard, “Tara, you must die to self. You are only thinking about you and not Greg. Stop talking to me about Greg. I only deal with you when it comes to sin when I am talking to you. I will talk to Greg about his stuff.” And then God graciously revealed to me my sin in the situation. I was so convicted. It was at this moment that I realized that what I choose to allow in my thought life, words, and actions can cause us to go into a winter season. 

In many ways, entering winter is our own selfish actions that cause us to walk into that cold. God wants to work in us to do all we can to guard our heart, mind, soul, and spirit. When I am willing to let God do this work in me, I can become a protector of our marriage and not allow any bitter roots to take hold by giving grace, mercy, and forgiveness freely as I receive it. Doing this enabled us to move into summer much more gracefully. It is crazy amazing how fast this transition can happen!

I remember clearly one moment when Greg and I were in an argument and both of us were fighting to be right. I remembered that our pastor had once said that sometimes the best thing you can do is just allow the other person to be right even when you know you are right. So, I decided to do it. I simply said, “You are right. I am wrong. Will you forgive me?” I was so surprised when Greg paused and looked at me with a kinder look and said, “I am sorry. Will you forgive me?” We instantly hugged each other and peace was restored. It was so fast because both of our hearts were willing to humble ourselves before the other. I remember in that moment having the most incredible swell of love for Greg because I saw a spirit of humility rise in him. If I felt that for him, I hoped that he also felt the same for me. I believe his actions soon showed it!

How to have an evergreen marriage

When Greg and I walk through the park by our house, there is a blue spruce that was planted two years ago that we walk past. I love this blue spruce so much. The tips of its branches show its growth through a lighter green blue waxy color. It just captivates me. Recently, Pastor Phurba asked Greg and I to come lead a marriage conference for his church, New Life Bhutanese Nepali Church and as we walked by the tree as the sun was setting, I had the thought. “I love evergreens! They stay green all year long.” I think this is why I love them so much. I then had the thought, “What if we call the conference, How to have an evergreen marriage?” Just like evergreens, there are certain things we can do to help our marriages stay evergreen through the different seasons. 

I remembered that Dr. Gary Chapman taught a series on the four seasons of marriage. He wasn’t the first person I heard describe marriage in the four seasons, but it is the one I remembered. I will provide a basic summary of what I recall from his videos on YouTube and book. So, I decided to use his four seasons of marriage and the things I learned about evergreen trees and why they stay evergreen through the seasons to set up our conference.

Dr. Chapman starts his series of Seasons of Marriage with winter because he says that most couples show up in their winter season for counseling. But for our purposes, I want us to start with the season of spring because this is where most couples begin their relationship—SPRING! Oh, the season of spring is so glorious. You remember the wonder of it. It is filled with excitement and discovery as you begin to get to know each other. Your heart is open and full of optimism. Communication is so easy and flows without effort. Both of you delight in connectedness and communication. 

This season is often considered the honeymoon phase. It is so much fun to watch and yes, it is a little bit sickening to watch, too! Greg and I laugh all the time when we are with our daughter and son-in-love. They are young newlyweds and whenever we are together, they are so excited about their love that when we ask them a question, they will stare at each other as they answer and not even look at us. It is hilarious! Spring is simply glorious! I started here because I want couples to remember their story and the incredible glow of spring! 

The crazy cycle of marriage does not allow us to grow neatly through the seasons. They are not linear or orderly for that matter. We can be in the moment of spring and suddenly find ourselves in fall. Wait, what? How is it that spring moves so quickly to fall? What about summer? Well, with marriage it happens. It happens when we allow relationship drift to creep in. We stop communicating and we feel less connected. We might discover that we pursue things that fill our love tank, but not our spouses and suddenly we realize that we are both doing things, but they are not together. This is a critical time in our relationship because if we do not stop and find ways to connect, relate, and communicate deeper truths, we will find that our spouse can quickly become more like a stranger than our lover. We do not want to allow ourselves to drift too far into fall. If we do, we will find winter soon approaching with its cold isolation. 

The only reason I am able to write this out is because we as a couple know this reality so well. Early on in our marriage Greg would travel for training and I had to stay home with the kids. I really struggled in this season because I felt so alone and isolated in parenting. It was so hard for me to not be angry at Greg when he returned because I was envious of him traveling. The irony of it is that Greg didn’t like traveling. He was envious that I got to stay home and just be with the kids. We had to work hard to communicate and not fight during this season.

Peace as our Protector

Recently, I had this overwhelming anxiety that was robbing me of my peace. You know the kind you cannot define but you feel it in your chest and nothing seems right. I don't know if it was because of grief or because the schedule has been intensely full lately, but I felt the grip that wanted to rob me of peace. 

As I taught on prayer in Luke 11, God kept whispering to me ASK, SEEK, KNOCK. Do not stop! Walk by faith in me. So I found myself on repeat. ASK, SEEK, KNOCK. 

I then heard this short phrase, "Peace is your protector" on a prayer video. This sent me on a search. I spent a couple of days just looking up peace verses. 

Sometimes, I feel like peace is elusive like I know I am supposed to have it but at times I catch myself lacking it. But here is the deal. Peace is a gift. It has already been given to us. Peace is always with us if we are in Christ because He is the Prince of Peace (Is. 9:6). He promised the disciples, "Peace, I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid (John 14:12). 

Essentially, I am a peace walking person. By this I mean my heart, mind, soul, and spirit carry peace within them because I am His. 

So what am I to do when I realize that I am not walking in peace or giving peace as I walk about my day?

A few verses showed me that I have a part in being peace as a protector. 

I must choose to focus my heart and mind upon Jesus. We are promised that "He will keep in perfect peace those whose eyes are kept on Him" (Is. 26:3). Perfect peace is "Shalom, shalom" in Hebrew. I love the repetition because it feels like a double portion of peace. But it literally means that we remain steadfast and calm despite the storm or circumstances we are going through. Our focus and trust is on Him and Him alone. It is His work and not our own moving in and through it all. 

Peace.

This is when we experience and know the peace of God, which transcends all understanding as it guards our hearts and our minds in Christ Jesus (Phil. 4:7). Do you see the word guard? This is active, continous, on going like a soldier standing watch at the city gate, but in this case it is God being vigilant as our heart and mind guard. 

Peace.

A simple conversation will fly from my lips in these moments when I realize I am not a peace protector. "Hey, God! I know You are there! I am anxious. I don't know why. Help me to see Your perfect peace and know the mystery of its protection."

In practice, I am trying to live out Exodus 14:14, "The LORD will fight for you, and shall hold your peace." 

Say this next line nice and slow.

God, Almighty, will fight for you. 

Now repeat it again.

This literally means that He will devour, eat, prevail, war, do battle, and consume what is against you. Oh my!

Peace.

Now here is the grip or hold that we must take. Be still. Let go. Be quiet. Yes, silent. We do not have to fight it. The LORD will fight for us as we stay silent. 

I don't know about you, but I am a fighter. I have words. So many words. But, here I am reminded the battle is not mine. It is His. It is about letting go and letting God do His thing. I just need to surrender to the mystery and gift of peace as my protector. 

Peace guards our hearts and minds. It is our mental armor and heart guard.

We are promised that God will fight for us or atleast that is a promise He made to Israel as they fled Egypt and if God will do this for one group, He will do it for another. This type of fighting for you is considered all consuming. 

Our role is to just be silent. Be still. Or to say it another way, we are to cut and engrave Him in our heart and mind as our focus. Not all that other stuff we are thinking on. It is about trust that God has got you! 

Let go of that stinking thinking!

Open the gift of peace. It is quite simple: look to the Prince of Peace. Call upon Him to save you or speak into the situation. Then rest as you watch and are amazed at how His peace surprises you with a mystery that cannot be explained, and soon it will be experienced with certainty.

"Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice! Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you" (2 Cor. 13:1).

Peace is our Protector!  

Shalom, Shalom! 

Human Praying Tree

My human praying tree! God gave me this drawing during a prayer retreat. I rendered the pencil sketch I made.