In 1995 when I graduated with my Masters degree from SWBTS, I was commissioned by a SBC Church alongside my ministry partner in starting a church plant. He was ordained. I was commissioned. It was the same service, same message, same prayers, and same people laying on hands. I say people because it was both men and women.
I accepted the rhetoric at the time. Honestly, I didnt know enough to ask questions or I didn't have the maturity to say anything. And it really didn't matter. This SBC regional team recognized God's calling on my life. They were willing to lay hands on me because they saw the movement of God's call upon my life. They affirmed the Holy Spirit in me and set me apart for ministry.
I now know more than ever that there is great weight in laying hands on someone for the call to ministry. This means you bear the weight of both their success and failures. I have had both.
But, there is also something so powerful about a group saying, "We believe in you. We see the Holy Spirit at work in you. We acknowledge your kingdom value as set apart. We touch you with the intent to pass blessing upon you. We endorse what God is doing and give you the authority to do it. May the Holy Spirit pour out in you and through you to bring unity and build up the fellowship of the saints."
When this happens there is a gift of remembrance that brings about a desire to honor and to fulfill all that has been prayed.
I have never taken lightly my call or commissioning. I work hard to live it simply and sincerely. Through the years God has convicted me over and over to not bury my talents. He has given me many and grown some that have been so unexpected. Again, I have done this well and I have done this poorly. But in it all I seek to move in the Holy Spirit's fruit.
Yet, I shall remain faithful with the talents I have been given. God did not say to me, "Tara, this talent was a gift to only be shared with half of the population." He gave me my talent to use it for His glory. I am to remain faithful to His message that He loves us so much that He sent His Son to live, die, and rise that we might have life. I am called to bear good fruit and not focus on the talent, gender, race, socio-economic status, educational status or even age.
So, I study. I teach what I learn. I open my home. I love on the one who comes. I draw and paint hoping I can tell a story well. I train so others are equipped and able to do likewise. I listen and give counsel usually based on lessons from my own stupidity, suffering, and pain. Begging all the while that I bear good fruit. I want to be an oak of righteousness and I want to grow countless forests wherever I drop seeds of faith.
In it all, I seek to honor those I serve and partner with. I do everything I can to listen and obey if it gives God glory. I repent often. More than you want to know. But in it all I try to love fully and see each person the way God sees them. I beg for love for those I don't like. Yeah, we all struggle with humans.
I seek to live and bear fruit that can only be born by the Holy Spirit. I pray for His work in me and through me. I beg for His path because I know it will lead me straight to Jesus and set me straight.
Most of the time I feel awkward because I am so stinking deep in my thoughts. I am more apt to make you cry than laugh. Don't believe me? Ask all the people who come to see me and they dont know why, but they start crying. Lol. It's not me really. It is God's work. He likes to break up those broken places so healing can take place.
So, yeah, today's widow story has brought out so much in me. Here is the deal. I AM A FEMALE. I AM CALLED BY GOD TO GO MAKE DISCIPLES like the Samaritan woman who led her village to Jesus or like Phoebe who traveled around carrying Romans while reading and explaining it wherever she went. Or like Priscilla as she and her husband, Aquila, discipled Apollos.
I seek to focus on bearing good fruit. If God should teach someone in the other half of the population through me then all I can say is "If God can use a donkey to save a man's life, He can even use me."
I am so thankful for the church and regional group that decided to commission me as a ministry leader. And for every church and ministry since that has allowed me to partner shoulder-to-shoulder in the faith. Thank you for believing in me.
At the moment, I am surprised by how God used the complaining Greek widow's story in Acts 6:1-7 to help me process my grief for how women in ministry are being treated.
It is my heart cry that it awakens hope for those who might read this. If God can use me, He can use you.
It is important to be in the Word, to be with Jesus, to be transformed, y'all!
Shalom. Shalom.
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